Taking Chances

CHAPTER 26 - Ayoko Na

*** ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ***

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MATTHEW

Naramdaman ko na lang na hinatak ako ni Seb. I've passed out on top of a random girl on my office table.

"Matt..." tawag nya sa akin, habang niyuyugyog ako.

"Dammit Seb, nahihilo ako sa ginagawa mo."

"Good, buhay ka pa. Now get in the shower and fix yourself," sabi nya sa akin habang tinutulak nya ako sa spare room sa office ko where I used to stay pag may mga all-nighters kami.

Habang nagsa shower ay pilit kong inaalala ang mga nangyari.

I was out again last night gaya ng mga nakaraang gabi na nasa bar ako para uminom and make out with random girls.

I just want to forget Victoria, and yet I can't. Even when I'm fvcking some girl sa mga madidilim na sulok ng bar, sya pa rin ang nasa isip ko.

Halong galit at sakit.

I was ready to give her the world and she fvcking threw that on my face by getting pregnant with some guy's child.

Sure ako dun. I saw her with Marco sa opisina nya nung susunduin ko na sana sya.

They were in deep conversation. Until umiyak na lang si Victoria and eventually si Marco. I saw how she gave him a tight hug and afterwards, how he tenderly kissed her temple, habang sinasabi nyang, "it's going to be alright."

It was actually a sight, seeing the mighty Marco Gonzales shed a tear. If only he wasn't holding Victoria in his arms.

Fvck!

Sabay sa lagaslas ng tubig ang patulo ng luha ko.

T*angna, gusto kong pagtawanan si Marco and yet, umiiyak din ako ngayon because of Victoria.

Every single time na naaalala ko ang moment na iyon ay gusto kong magwala. Manakit. And sadly, it is forever etched in my mind.

Halos pag pumipikit ako, yun lang moment nilang yun ang nakikita ko.

I just want to be numb. So last night when someone offered me some drugs to take the edge off, pinatulan ko.

And that's how Seb found me passed out on some girl. Buti na lang no matter how wasted I am, I never have unprotected s3x.

Ever.

Except with Victoria.

Only with Victoria.

Shit. Mas malamang nga yung possibility na anak ko yun.

And right now, I realized that it doesn't matter really.

I've had enough of these self-destructive behaviors. Iisa lang din naman ang sinasabi ng puso ko.

It doesn't really matter if she's cheating on me. We can work that out. I'll do everything para hindi na sya maghanap ng iba. Para yung pagmamahal ko lang sapat na sa kanya.

Basta andito sya.

Basta kasama ko sya.

"Tara Seb samahan mo ako."

"Saan?"

"Sa office ni Victoria."

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Andito sya kanina, she wanted to talk to you and saw you..."

He didn't have to say it out loud. Snippets of the scenes kanina flashed before me.