Not The Same. [Jean x Reader]

Epilogue.

This is told in your POV. Based off of a 5SOS preferance by kayleydixon.
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I couldn't believe it. A chuckle escaped my lips. A chuckle of not believing what I'm witnessing.

Jean stopped kissing her and turned his head to see me, holding a plastic bag of the video games. "(y-y/n)?!" He got up and hurried over to me.

I didn't want to hear it. I threw the plastic bag at him, secretly hoping it would miss. It hit him, barely. "Jean, you can't say anything to me that will make it all better." I said.

He looked surprised. I continued, "You told me you loved me. I lied to myself, coming up with excuses why you haven't told me you came back. I thought maybe you were unpacking or spending time with your freaking family. Isn't that wonderful? I thought you were being nice. When you were doing the opposite. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I thought you loved me."

"I--" He began, but I interrupted him by laughing.

"You're going to say you love me? You have a funny way of showing it." I turned around and left. I didn't know where I was driving. At first, I thought he actually loved me. The 'six' in ratings. I believed him.

I cuddled with him while we watched movies, falling asleep on the couch until he woke up and had to go home. With every kiss, every romantic gesture, I loved him. I thought he loved me back. Now I know that was a lie.

I remembered when we went to the beach, he convinced me to go into the water where he kissed me with so much passion. I thought he was the one. I had known he was the one.

I didn't know how I fell in love with him. Every day was like falling in love with him again. I thought he felt that way. I thought he felt the butterflies when we kissed or when we said those three words. Those three words were like a promise.

I believed that promise would last forever. I felt he believed that too. I remember our real first kiss after he confessed to me in detention. It's glued into my memory forever. He just kissed me with so much passion. I returned the kiss thinking that he always loved me.

He gave me the best months in my life. He accepted me as me. I had never been that happy. I kept thinking we were going to stay together while we went to the same college. I thought we would be together forever. But, I was wrong. Of course this would happen. I'm average and he's perfect.

There was no way I'd wake up and a year later we'd be cuddling, watching movies.

I just can't believe how stupid I was. I find it so dumb that it's unbelievable. This wasn't a fairy tale. He's supposed to be with a hot girl, an arm around her waist. Not with the girl who gets good grades, in the honor roll. I never thought this would happen. 

I should have expected this, to be honest. I didn't get why it was a surprise.

I felt my phone vibrate, I saw he was calling. I rejected the call. Oh, I wanted to throw my phone out the window. Badly.

His voicemail was automatically played.

"Hey, I'm really sorry. I love you--"

Heartbroken, I stopped listening to it. I wondered how long it took for Mikasa to leave him. I'm not even mad at her. That surprises me even more. He probably lied to her. Lied about the months I had been the other side of his heart.

Or maybe he didn't feel that way. Maybe I was the only one feeling it. I was the only one to feel our love. I'm probably the only one who feels this pain in my heart.

I didn't understand why these things happen. I didn't have a clue. All I knew was that there was a person who I cared deeply for. A person who swept me off of my feet. He made me feel like I could fly if he was beside me. I put all of my trust into him. If I was falling from one thousand feet in the air, I would know he'd catch me.

I would tell him that I'd love him. He'd say it back.

But those were just words. Words that obviously didn't have any meaning to him.

But, what I hate the most is that I can't hate him for it. I can only hate myself for believing everything he said to me.

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Thank you for reading this book. I love you all very much. ❤

Never let anyone tell you who to be. You're amazing.