More Than A Game

Chapter 43

Walking back towards the hotel, more tears begun to stream down my cheeks as Chad's angered words rushed through my mind.

Right now, I was hurting badly inside and the only thing I wanted to have was my boyfriend right by side, telling me that everything was going to be alright. But in reality, I knew I was kidding myself if I honestly expected for that to happen.

Moving along the hallway back to my room, I did my best to avoid all eye contact from the people who made their way past. I could some of their confused stares upon but I continued to ignore it. Right now, I was confused. Lost. Angered. I didn't know what I was meant to do; I just didn't have the energy to deal with anymore negative reactions. Just not tonight.

Stopping in front of the white door, I was surprised to see Ollie still here, sitting upon the bed patiently and quietly. As much as I was mad at Ollie, I couldn't help but feel empathy towards him. It wasn't just his fault we were in this mess, I could have stopped this from getting serious; it was all too late.

I felt disgusted with myself. What was the point of blaming him for something I was partly to blame for. As I sat on the couch, I could feel his stare upon me as silence was the only noise we could both hear for the next few moments. I turned around and found my eyes meeting his as my heart beat rapidly. What would I need to say? How do I react? Was there even a need for a word to be said?

"I really am sorry Ca..."

"No. Don't you dare say another word Ollie. I don't want to even hear you breath. It's also your very fault that were in this situation." I said angrily as I stopped myself from becoming angrier and let out a heavy sigh.

I didn't want to hear him say another word, not after what just happened. Inviting him in was just another way of keeping him by my side and I guess I let the better of my cravings for his touch get to me as I ignored the warning signs. This was just another endless mistake made by me.

"But didn't I warn you that Chad was coming? When I heard that voicemail come through your phone, I told you to stop for the night." He said bitterly as I stood rather quickly and moved closer towards him. Biting my lip, I could feel the anger rising inside my body as I let out sharp heaves of breath.

"Blame me Ollie, make me take all the blame when you just couldn't help yourself, could you? I know you warned me but when I brushed off your stupid warning, you just couldn't help but explore the depths of my lips."

"I... I..."

"And even those times before I tried my best to avoid you, you always found a way to be where I was. I don't know if you've noticed but I've always wanted to control the attraction between us, but that was made difficult because of your actions.

You see, don't you dare blame me for this when you were also to blame for this problem. I know you, one taste of what we have and you want more, no you just crave to have me as to yourself and because of this, I haven't only lost my boyfriend, you've also lost your best mate."

Ollie sighed loudly in defeat as I had realised what I just said. I mean yes it was true, but my main intention wasn't rub the negatives in front of him. I prayed to myself that I didn't lose Ollie aswell. I had already lost Chad and deep down, that scarred me badly. Who knew how badly the scars would burn if I lost Ollie too?

He stepped upwards and moved completely away from the bed as he made his own way closer towards me now. I was drained out and was trying to work out my options but really, I was limited to what paths I could take.

"Why did you ignore my warning when you clearly knew Chad was on his way here tonight?" He asked rather concerned, catching me off guard. I was lost to how I was meant to answer this question or what exactly it was wanting to know. I knew Ollie was after answers, but right now, I was emotionally unstable to give him what he desperately wanted to know.