More Than A Game

Chapter 44

He stared at me bitterly as he glanced over my shoulder to face the distance. Maybe this was a bad idea to speak with him now, I could already tell he would enjoy bashing the living souls of the already worn out punching bag more than he would talk to me.

"Can we talk, please?"

Silence.

"Chad seriously, I don't have time for this bullsh*t. Right now, I'm ready to talk things over even though I'm the last person you'd want to see right now."

"Talk exactly about what Carmen? About the fact that you were clearly enjoying the time you spent wrapping me around your finger? Because believe me, I don't wanna hear another word."

"You know I didn't enjoy lying to you Chad. I desperately wanted to tell you but I just. I just couldn't find the right time."

"If you didn't enjoy lying behind my back, then why would go and just hook up with Ollie? Honestly Carmen, I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Last night meant absolutely nothing if that's what you're talking about. I love you Chad and always have, just because you saw what you saw last night doesn't make me love you any less."

"That's the thing, you say you love me and always have but then go behind my back just to get in with my teammate, my best mate. If last night meant nothing to you, then last night shouldn't have happened."

Chad sighed in defeat as he turned to face away from me. I hated seeing him heartbroken, especially when I was the major cause to his distress but right now there wasn't any way I backing down from this fight.

"Chad. Can we please just try and sort this out like adults?"

"So I'm the one who isn't acting like an adult when it was my girlfriend who decided to continually go behind my back. I don't actually know what you intended was going to happen Carmen, but I swear to god that I don't want to hear anymore of your reasons. You can give me a hundred reasons on why you decided to do what you did but I couldn't actually give a damn."

Now it was Chad's turn to sigh. Where this conversation was going I actually had no idea but as the person I was, I had to force myself to stick with it until the end; no matter the outcome. I could hear Chad letting heaved, sharps breaths from his chest as I bit my lip nervously.

"I don't really know what to believe in anymore because the girl who I thought would always stand by made me lose my balance. Standing here, I'm not even sure the way I'm meant to feel; angry, disappointed, ashamed. But I don't think my feelings mean anything to you."

"How can you even say that Chad? All the moments we shared, that love that we had, absolutely everything we had -"

"You don't think this is actually love do you? Those three words you always seem to throwing out are meant to mean something for the both of us? Ha. That's funny Carmen, it really is. But, do you want to know what the funniest thing of all is?

I actually thought you were the one. I thought I would be able to go out and tell people that you were the special women who I'd settle down with, get married with and possibly, even start my very own family with. But for some reason, I let my fantasy blind me that I was taken advantage of and I guess I'm the only one to take the blame."

"Wait. You actually believed that we could have settled down and have a family together. How come you never told me this before?"

Chad glanced at me before rolling his eyes. The closer I looked, the more I began to notice his bloodshot eyes. I could see his muscles beginning to tense as he turned his attention back onto me. I felt ashamed of myself after hearing Chad's future goals. The fact that he believed that two of us would one day become married and settled down with each other. Together we would become a Mr and Mrs and because of my lust, I basically ruined what would have been a beautiful honour of becoming Mrs Wingard one day.