More Than A Game

Chapter 64

Laying on the leather couch, I was in deep thought about yesterday's radio interview. Replaying all the issues I had spoken about over and over in my mind was pretty overwhelming, especially since I knew I impacted a lot of people in more positive ways than I could have ever imagined.

Since the radio interview, I've gained a lot of support from many people. Nat Fyfe, a player from the Fremantle Football Club had sent me a couple of tweets congratulating me which caused me to blush in embarrassment. I couldn't believe that Nat Fyfe had actually acknowledged me; I was super stoked about it. Samantha Armitage, a popular news reporter from Melbourne contacted me wishing me luck with my ambassador work for Beyond Blue which was pretty cool. A few of the Port Adelaide boy's wives called me also congratulating me on my radio interview which I felt pretty blessed.

Although the best part wasn't in fact the celebrities who've spoken to me but rather many citizens from all over Australia contact me on Twitter reaching out to me about their stories and giving me so many compliments about the ambassador position. I wasn't crazy about the idea of media attention since I've face so much negativity but if that media attention means that I'm able to make a difference to many people's lives then my whole lifestyle doesn't exactly faze me anymore.

Surprisingly, last night after my radio interview, Brayden and a couple of the Western Bulldog players Skyped me which was a different experience but was great because not only did I get to see Brayden after a long, I was also able to chat with Jack Macrae since Brownlow night and get introduced to a few of the other boys from the team.

I shuffled in my seat and turned the page of the book as I let a sigh escape from my lips. Right now, I was currently re - reading The Great Gatsby for about the hundredth time already and whilst I know what was going to happen, who doesn't like a bit of Jay Gatsby to brighten up their morning.

I pushed back my hair away from face behind me as I turned the page once more. I was getting up to an interesting part when I looked up to find mum making her way towards me. I closed the book and put it on the table next to my head as I quickly sat up. Mum sat next to me and let out a smile which I couldn't help but return the favour and do the same.

"What you did yesterday was a beautiful thing Carmen, you should definitely be proud of what's you've achieved and how far you've come as a young woman. And I'm sure Brayden is proud of you too."

" I know, I'm proud for myself too and yeah, I know you and of course Brayden are proud of me but - "

" Is there something wrong honey? You don't look as happy as I thought you'd be?"

"- I'm fine but it's just whilst it's good to see everyone else happy and hearing that the issue of mental health is getting noticed now, I can't help but think that whilst everyone is smiling, I forcing on my own smile."

"You know if there's something wrong or even bugging you, there is always time you can speak to me. And whilst I might not be able to help you, I'll always be able to give you support whatever the issue is."

"I know and I'm thankful for that mum. But, it's Ollie. I'm not quite sure if he's the right guy for me. Sure he's a really sweet guy and he'll always be willing to do whatever he can but for some reason I'm sure if the things he wants is what I want now." I said biting my lip as mum looked down on me, frowning. I know it isn't my position to be speaking to her about this but honestly, ever since that night coming back from Hindmarsh, I've been desperately trying to sort out my own happiness.

Just as my mother began to open her mouth, there was a loud knock emerging from the wooden door. We both sharply turned our heads to face the door, both filled with confusion.