Find Your Love

Its not enough...

Renae

Whaaa! Whaaa! Whaaaa!

I picked up King out of his play pen as he screamed his eyes out. It was 10:00 in the morning and I was trying to sleep after he had woke me up at 3:00 in the morning. It was hard trying to do this when you don't get any sleep. And you don't even get enough time to take a shower. I haven't took a bath in three days. Since, his welcome home party but I got to take a bath because my grandmother would watch him but Lisa and my dad went on a vacation to Hawaii.

And Dre as I suspected don't even come by to see him. He hasn't came to see him since the welcome home party. I start school again in a month and I know its going to be a mess. And i'm trying to get enough money to get all the furniture I want. My dad insists on paying for the house so I let him. All I got to do is pay the bills and i'm grateful for that. I'm happy that I get that and I think that I need to be the bigger person and talk to my mom. I will always love her and care for her. But, I think we just need to discuss our differences. And I want her to be in King's life I mean that is my mother his grandmother. And everybody makes mistakes we just have to learn from them.

I fed King and rocked him to calm his screams. His cries had calmed and after staring at me for awhile he fell asleep after a hour of rocking him. I got up and walked upstairs to his room so I could put him to bed. Every time I tried to put him in the crib he cried so I had to keep him. I wanted to watch my show The Have and the Have Nots. So, I decided to just stretch out on the couch and watch it with my baby. I went to the kitchen and made me some popcorn so I could watch it on Dvr. When the second commercial came on I put him in his rocker and he began to whine so I pressed the button that makes the chair vibrate.

He had fell asleep while I stared at the tv screen intrigued into the drama it was feeding me.

Whaaa! Whaaa! I woke up on the couch to King crying. Sitting up on the couch I looked down at him with sleep in my eyes. I wiped my eyes and picked him up out of the vibrating rocking chair. He continued to scream, whimper and scream some more. As I walked to his room to take care of his current needs I added a little bounce to my walk to calm his loud cries. I opened his room door and walked to his changing table that was on the edge of his crib. I placed him on the changing table as he screamed louder and through his legs around in frustration.

I touched his chest and shook it slightly to calm his cries while I dug for his diapers and wipes. I found the diapers and wipes in the drawer so I put it on the changing table next to his head. I took off his diaper and he had pooped. I scrunched up my face I still wasn't use to wiping poop. It started to stink now that his diaper was off and as I wiped his butt it smeared. I grabbed another wipe and wiped it up instead of every which way. After the poop was gone I seen he had a red rash on his bottom and even after I cleaned him he was still crying.

I got the ointment out of the drawer and put it where I seen the diaper rashes. I then put baby powder on him and pulled the diaper up over him. I put his clothes on and started to feed him in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I turned the tv on and rewinded the show from where I left off before I went to sleep. He was eating when I felt my breast get tender so I switched him to the other. He was finished so I took him off and burped him.

When he spit up all on the burp rag I hugged him and decided to play with him.

"Hey mama's baby" I tickled as he smiled his toothless smile.

He opened his eyes and I kissed his forehead "Don't you ever give my suga away" I said as he giggled.

"What are you laughing at little boy"

My phone started ringing so I got up and carried him over to the coffee table across the room where my phone was lying. I looked at the caller i.d. and seen that it was Raja's number.