Our Secret To Keep.

Chapter Fifty-Five - It Won't Be Easy

Blythe

I stare at Kade, eyes wide and mouth agape, trying to process what he just said. Did I hear him right?

"W-what did you just say?" I whisper.

Kade sighs and shakes his head. "You heard precisely what I said, Blythe. Please don't act as if you didn't."

"I-I-I..."

I struggle to find the right words, and I realise that my inability or failure to respond as he expected is likely hurting him and causing regret over his words. I have a lot I want to say, but it feels like my body isn't under my control at that moment. I didn't expect to hear those words so soon or at all, because that was never supposed to happen between us. But nothing turned out as expected; everything changed suddenly.

"You really aren't going to say anything? I should have kept my mouth shut," he says, shaking his head and starting to walk away.

He can't go far since we're at his place. I can only watch him and feel my heart racing. I want to follow him, but I feel frozen, unable to move my legs. When I try to call out to him, no words come. What's wrong with me? I probably seem like a terrible person. He confided in me about his feelings, and I remain silent. Who does that? He deserves more.

I hear the front door open and close, a sound that instantly snaps me out of my daze. Regaining composure, I rush after him, but trip and fall flat on my face along the way. I grimace as my knees, elbows, and chin hit the floor. Seriously! Now is when I fall? I swear karma really hates me. Ignoring the pain, I push myself up and sprint toward the door, hoping to catch Kade. He's nowhere inside the building, and if he's in his car, I have no chance to reach him.

I rush out of the building, trying to find him, but the sudden rain and darkness make it difficult to spot him. My eyes flick left and right, yet I can't see him.

"Fuck!" I groan, pulling my wet hair in frustration.

I try to decide which way to go, trusting my instincts. Following my gut, I sprint left and down the street, feeling the throbbing in my knees and elbows, but I push past it because it isn't the main concern right now. My focus is on more urgent matters. At last, I see a figure and hope it's Kade, not just a stranger.

"Kade!" I call out as I get closer.

The person keeps walking, but I call his name louder this time, and he stops. I quickly realise it's him. He doesn't turn around, keeping his back to me. I slow my pace, take a few deep breaths, and approach from behind.

"Blythe, why did you follow me? You clearly expressed your feelings. I need some time. I'm not angry because you don't feel the same. I am not mad about that. I am upset because you said nothing. You looked at me silently and still, and it hurt," he whispers.

Guilt overwhelms me. I didn't intend to hurt him; I just needed time to process everything.

"Kade, please turn around and look at me," I plead.

I see him inhale deeply, and the moment he faces me seems to stretch endlessly. His shoulders are hunched, and sadness clouds his eyes. "What do you want?" he asks softly, almost inaudibly.

I approach closer and gently touch his damp cheek with my thumb. He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch and swallowing nervously.

"I didn't say I didn't feel the same, Kade. You barely gave me a chance to respond. I needed to process what you said, but you left before I had a chance to do so."

"Blythe, if you felt the same, you wouldn't have needed time to think about it. That's okay. I can't force you to love me in return. It's not your fault that we're not on the same page," he whispers, opening his eyes to meet mine once more.

"That isn't true. Just because it is easy for someone else to say doesn't mean it is easy for everyone, Kade. People process differently, yet you jumped to the worst conclusion without even giving me a minute."

He glances downward. "Sorry, but would it have made a difference?"

I close my eyes, concentrate on my breath, and gently place my finger on his chin. I tilt his head back, making sure he looks at me again. A silence surrounds us, our gazes locked tightly as the heavy rain soaks us completely.

I ignore my trembling hands, rapid heartbeat, and the pounding in my chest. "Yes, it would have made a difference, Kade."

"In what way?"

The words I'm about to say won't be easy. His gaze stays fixed on me as he awaits my response. He looks so handsome in the rain. I shake off the distraction. I must concentrate and express what I need to before I hesitate and run away.

"I love you too, Kade, and it honestly frightens me. I didn't intend for you to think I didn't love you. Expressing these feelings isn't easy for me. I've been hurt before, but those past experiences don't matter now. What matters is you, us—because I truly don't know what I'd do without you. I really do love you, Kade, even if it might seem like I don't sometimes."

"Y-y-you do?"

I nod. "I do." I smile.

Kade's lips soon curl into a smile, the sadness fading from his face and being replaced by brightness. "I love you too. I didn't expect the first time I would tell you would be during an argument, but I couldn't keep it in any longer. I needed you to know how I felt and that I am not going anywhere. I am in this for the long run."

I don't respond with words. Instead, I seize him by his jacket, pull him close, and press my lips to his, giving him my all. He groans, wraps his arms around me, and kisses me back. After a few moments, we part ways.

Kade rests his forehead against mine. "I know you are scared, but I am too. We can be scared together."

"You are?"

He nods confidently. "I am because it changes everything — for the better — even though it makes things harder with more at stake. But I promise, Blythe, we will be okay; we'll make it."

"Promise?"

"I promise, beautiful," he replies, kissing my forehead.

He hugs me tightly to his chest. I smile, slip my arms around him, and bury my face in his wet chest. The familiar sense of security and ease surrounds me. I hope he is right. I hope we can make it, because we still have a lot to deal with. There will still be people who try to pull us apart, but if this is meant to be, none of that should matter. 

(I know this chapter sort of seems like it is the end, it isn't, not yet. There is still some to come, maybe another ten chapters or so.)