Josh: March 15, 2014
Laying in my big empty bed with Driver at my feet, I couldn't sleep a wink. Hanna called me to apologize for the fight we had the day before, and of course, I forgave her for being a total bitch to me, but I couldn't stop thinking about Rachael. I wasn't sure if this was the right time to tell her, she had only been single for about a week, but I had to do something about what I was feeling. Feeling a little dehydrated from being so nervous, I went into the kitchen and gulped down half a bottle of Gatorade before putting it back in the fridge.
My heart was about to pound out of my chest when I opened the door to my second bedroom where Rachael was staying. She stirred a little when I walked in and looked at me.
"So Driver took up the whole bed and kicked me out, can I crash in here?" I lied, hoping she wouldn't see right through me.
"Yeah, fine, whatever." She waved her hand at me and went back to sleep.
I liked the way Rachael looked wearing my clothes the night before, but I liked it even more the way she looked in her own pajamas. She wore a simple black tank top and pink shorts that showed off her nice tan legs. Her hair was out of the ponytail she wore it in all day, leaving a small bump on the crown of her head. I watched her sleep for a few minutes, and then I started playing with the hair that had fallen in her face. Her eyebrows furrowed at first when I touched her, but softened after a minute.
After countless nights staying at each others houses and who knows how many times we just sat on the bridge, alone, I had a lot of chances to kiss Rachael in the past. I don't know why it hit me this time, but I suddenly got the urge to do the unthinkable.
I knew she was a pretty heavy sleeper so I was hoping that she was sound asleep when I leaned in and kissed her soft lips. I lingered for a second before pulling away to see if it had caused her to wake up. Luckily, she didn't move. I wasn't going to say anything to her or anyone else about it. This was a moment I was going to hang onto for a while. I didn't even care that I was dating someone, I had to see what her lips felt like against mine.
Rachael: March 15, 2014
Driver woke me up barking outside the door the next morning. I didn't even remember Josh closing the door after he came in. Weird. I didn't remember much from the night before other than that kiss. It only lasted for a second, but I was still feeling the aftershock from it.
My mind was running wild in every different direction as I got up to let Driver outside. Was I dreaming it? If it was real, why did he kiss me? Should I ask him about it? What about Hanna? Sure she was a little twat but she was still his girlfriend.
I decided to let it go, it was probably nothing. Josh got into a bottle of Bourbon the night before, maybe Jim Beam made him do it. I threw Driver the ball he brought me and watched him chase it in the yard.
When I went back inside, Josh was already up and waking up Avan, Heather, Andre and Lisa. No one else could go with us to San Diego, so it was just Josh and I for the day. Alone with Josh after he kissed me. This was going to be comfortable. I couldn't tell him that I knew what he did. Then he'd start to question why I didn't kiss him back. Wait, why didn't I kiss him back?
I grabbed the last clean outfit I had packed in my suitcase and took a shower. Josh's bathroom smelled just like him and I was aroused thinking about him standing in the same spot I was in, completely naked with water cascading down his body. The thoughts I was having about him shouldn't have gone through my mind but I couldn't help it.
I tried my best to act normal around Josh for the rest of the morning so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable around me. After everyone else left and he finished getting ready for the day, I followed him to the garage.
"Here, you can drive Stella," he said, tossing me the keys to his prized BMW.
"You're trusting me to drive this thing?" I was shocked. He never let anyone drive his BMW. It was the only vehicle he had a name for. He cared for it better than anything he owned and now it was in my hands. And I had only driven a stick shift once before and it was a disaster.
Josh: March 15, 2014
"Its fine. I trust you. Your sense of direction is another thing, but I know you can drive her."
"Wow, I'm so honored. You have to promise not to kill me if I crash," she smiled innocently and climbed in.
She made it onto the highway surprisingly after only stalling the car twice. I didn't say much in the car other than telling her where to turn. She was acting normal so I know she didn't know what I did last night, but I couldn't stop thinking about how I wanted to do it again.
Rachael scrolled through my really random iTunes playlist looking for a good song. She stopped when the sound of Taylor Hanson's harmonica blared through the speakers at the beginning of 'If Only'. If there was a bigger Hanson fan than Rachael, I'd like to meet him or her. She's loved them since she was 11, and was crazy obsessed, her room was covered in pictures of them when she was younger.
I remember how upset she was when she couldn't fly out when they came to the Detention set. I think she cried for 2 solid hours. She thanked me a million times, though, when I sent her the video I took of them saying hi to her on camera. She belted the lyrics like no one was in the car with her. I couldn't help but laugh at the way she banged her hands on the steering wheel.
"Cause all I think about is your hands your face and all these lonely nights. There's a feeling that's creepin in the back of my head saying over and over."
Without her noticing, I quickly turned the volume down so I could hear her sing.
"Wanna hold you, love you, in my arms...Hey, you asshole!" She smacked my arm and turned the volume back up and continued singing.
"What? You're a fabulous singer. Definitely should quit your day job and try out for American Idol," I teased, making her just shake her head as she kept belting the lyrics.
We got to the San Diego Zoo and were having a great time hanging out and checking out the different exhibits. There were a lot of people crowded around the panda exhibit and Rachael just had to get a better look, so she grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd so she could get close. I didn't want to let go. I just wanted to pull her in and kiss her right there.
"Excuse me, could you take our picture? Can you make sure you get the panda in the background? Thank you!" She handed her camera to a stranger who obliged. She put her hands around my neck and squeezed her cheek against mine. I smiled as I put my arm around her waist and waited for the man to fiddle with the camera before he got a couple shots of us.
"I like being a tourist with you!" she exclaimed as we walked away from the panda exhibit.
"Me too," I laughed and pulled my ringing phone out of my pocket. I hesitated to answer when I saw that it was Hanna, but I decided to be a nice boyfriend and take the call.
She was frantic when I answered, "Babe, you need to come get me. I don't know who else to call!" She cried.
"Honey, I'm 2 hours away in San Diego. What's wrong?"
"Wait, what are you doing in San Diego?"
"That doesn't matter, where are you? Are you ok?"
"I-I think I'll be ok. I'll just call Shannon or something. Can you come get me when you get back, please?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving now." I hung up and turned to Rachael who was patiently looking at the pictures on her camera. "I'm so sorry I have to cut our trip short. Hanna needs me."
"Oh, it's ok. Is everything alright?" she asked, looking disappointed.
"Yeah I think so. I'm really sorry Rach. I know you wanted to see more."
"No, it's fine. You have your duties as a boyfriend. At least I got to see my pandas." She smiled politely and followed me back to the car.
