8 days
what am i supposed to do?
im staring at my screen
wondering what i can do in the meantime
distracted only by the few friends i have
but even so
seeing you even online, or in a call with my friends
im unable to do anything
and now, as much as i didnt want to take
away from you getting help
you're taking away from my "help"
because you refused to work with me
and while i dont blame you
i certainly wont quell my emotion over it
your actions, refusing to even let this be a little better for me
hasnt made me feel better about the situation
the instinct and fear tell me you dont want me around
and would rather dump me
but in reality
this just makes me pissed off and hurt
despite the fact i respect it
i have 23 more days of it
it's only been 8
and i have to do this 3 times over
im tired of this
i did everything i could to help you
and i get rewarded for it by having to stay by myself
and every day this goes on
it feels duller and duller
numbing further
just hoping i feel better when the day comes
but at the same time
i dont know what i want to feel
and maybe youll still just leave
but i have to hope
although hoping makes me feel worse
makes me feel ill
i want to hope things will get better
but i dont know how to feel good
once things are back to "normal"
i dont know if i want things normal
maybe i just would rather end this dull pain
YOU ARE READING
I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)
Poetrypoetry showing my stress. relieving, coping, really. continuing to add poems, sometimes daily. use this as place to talk about your own frustrations and dances with pain and strife
