Chapter 12

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Demons

As I was running I tried to concentrate. My thoughts were a mess. Eventually I let my instincts took over the control and I simply just ran. Enjoying the wind against my fur. The strength that I felt every time when I pushed myself away from the ground. The scents that filled my nose, the scenery. This is why I enjoyed running, it took my mind off of things.

I stopped when I noticed that I was at Seattle. I lay down on the ground thinking.

I knew I won't hurt Bella for my life. Hell, it felt like she became my life after those short hours. But I had already hurt someone who I loved because of what I am. And before I could stop it I was reliving that memory.

"Edward calm down!" I heard the concerned voice far away and I barely felt the hand on my shoulder. I was shaking like crazy.

"Elisabeth! Step back now!" I heard his warnings.

My breathing was fast. I tried to calm down but I couldn't. I needed space I was overwhalmed. "No! I know he can do it! Edward look at me, focus." She stepped closer and I lost it.

A loud thunder snapped me out of my memory. I looked up to the sky, it started to rain heavily. Tears escaped from my eyes. The raindrops mixed with my them.

The last time when I cried was when Carlisle had found me. I was holding back for a long time and now with everything happening I just broke. I felt depression taking over me, when I imagined what would I do if the same would happen to Bella.

I was a monster. No. I am a monster. A monster who could never be loved. Bella deserved so much better than me. I was not worthy for her. Pain ripped through my chest.

I howled in agony. I put all my saddnes and desperation in it. It echoed through the forest and I was sure that the others could hear it too.

I lay down and put my paws over my eyes hoping that the images of Bella being hurt would go away. I let out a little whimper.

The cold didn't affect me, I was soaking wet but my body temperature kept me warm. I was glad that the others didn't phase, I needed a little time with my thoughts. Also I didn't need them to hear my misery.

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I slept near Seattle in the forest. It wasn't my most pleasant night. I woke up every hour cause of the nightmare I had almost every night. In the nightmare I attack one of my family members. I didn't want to hurt them but I am trapped in my own body. All I could do just watch helplessly how I almost kill them. I woke up every time before I kill them.

It was hard when I had a nightmare like that because everyone in the family knew when I had one and who was the one I attacked. They knew it because whenever one of them was my victim I stayed away from her or him for weeks. I was terrified that the nightmare would become reality.

But this night was different. This night was much worst. This night I attacked Bella. In the nightmare I was standing in a beautiful round meadow. Bella was standing in the centre. She was so gorgeous. I started to walk up to her. But half way there I lost control over my body. I started to shake violently. My panick rose. I wanted to back away from her but I had already lost control. I phased and pounced on her. I landed on top of her. She looked up to me, her eyes were full of trust for me. I was desperate to get off her by then. She trusted me. And I was about to hurt her. My inner beast roared at her but she didn't even flinch. I fought to get the control back but I was too deep. I snapped my teeth at her then lunged for her throat.

That was when I woke up with tears in my eyes and with heavy breathing, sobs rocking my body. I only slept two hours.

At four o' clock I gave up on sleeping and slowly stood up. I was exhausted mentally and physically. The morning was cool and still foggy a bit.

I started to ran back home with a slow pace. Listening to the birds and the awakening wide life. The cool wind that hit my face woke me up a little. I ran through puddles, pooring the water all around.

I stopped in the woods just before I reached the house. I saw Carlisle sitting on the stairs searching the forest with tired eyes, probably looking for me.

I stepped in the clearing, into his sight. When he noticed me, he ran up to me and hugged me around my neck tightly. "Thank goodness." He wispered.

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Y

ou got a little clue about what happened to Edward, any guesses?

Thanks for reading it and sorry for any grammar mistakes. I hope you liked it.

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