Crack Attack: A Collection of One-Shots and Other Disturbing Shit

Southern Style (Prestonero)

Warning: This one-shot is not for smut-virgins or anyone who doesn't like sexually explicit stories. This story was written while listening to "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls. (See above.)

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            He has no idea what he did to me. What'd he say if he knew what his challenge video idea made me do? I mean, the other guys've gotta have weird... tastes in food, too. Right? I'm not the only one. I can't be the only one. I mean, look at Lachlan with his Chipotle and Jerome with the chicken katsu from that Hawaiian place by his house. And Rob's just freakin' weird. He's gotta have something going on there. Maybe he has something with syrup. Or alcohol. All I know is I've started and I can't stop. I've fallen and I can't get up. And if this gets recorded on camera somehow, I'm royally screwed from here to the Cosmic sun and back a thousand million jillion times.

That being said, there're no cameras in my bedroom. The door's shut, my recording computer and laptop are both turned off and the cameras are unplugged, and it's one in the morning when I know Mom and Dad and Keeley and Landon aren't gonna even think of stoppin' by. I'm safe. I left my phone over in the office and I turned it off just in case. I have nothing to worry about. No one'll ever know.

I pushed myself over the limit at the gym tonight because I knew I had this handsome bae waiting for me at home. My arms and legs feel like they're gonna fall off but it's so worth. I hold the clear plastic produce bag in front of my face and twirl it around a couple times, teasing myself with my reward. The tiny, bright orange pepper rotates inches in front of my face like a heavenly angel. I slowly reach in and bring the pepper out, running my fingers over its smooth, shiny, fleshy skin, not a sign of danger to be seen. Does this make me a masochist? Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

I make sure I have my cold, sweet safety net propped up on the table before I let out a big breath and bite into the habanero pepper, feeling the bitter sting fill my mouth to the brim as my eyes start watering. I pull the two halves of the pepper apart in my hands and examine their juicy, seedy insides greedily. Let's get this going.

I press the stringy ends of the peppers against my hard, needy nipples with a sharp intake of breath, my eyes snapping shut as the burning juices sear the sensitive skin. It's hot 'n spicy. The sting gets hotter and hotter and hotter until a small moan forces its way outta my mouth. Just the sound makes my cock jerk violently under the light grey sheets, leaving a cool trail of pre-cum behind that's almost as juicy as the pepper. When the pain gets to be too much, I pull the pepper away, one side at a time, and I see the hardened skin underneath is angry red and tender to the touch. It hurts like hell, yeah, but it's so addictive. I casually asked Choco about it after the challenge video and he said the endorphins or something made eating it worth the pain. Didn't look like he thought anything of it but as soon as the heat set in during the challenge, I already knew I was gonna try this. Now I can't stop.

I wait patiently for the burning to go away, the scorched skin throbbing dully to the tune of my heartbeat. Finally, it's time to play the real game. I lick the end of each pepper and feel my tongue water and my sinuses cramp at the extreme heat. I throw the tented sheets back and look sympathetically down at my poor, innocent, swollen cock. It knows what's coming and it's quivering in fear.

I set the smaller half of the pepper aside on the bed and gently touch the fleshy end of the bigger piece to the underside of my cock, gasping at the sudden unholy burning. It hurts so much it feels great. My body starts writhing on its own, trying to pull away from the psychotically hot habanero. It doesn't work like that. Look what you did, you dumb cactus. Now I have to punish you.

I force my hips back down on the bed and wipe the sweat off my forehead, glancing down to see my shaft has turned a violent shade of red. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. I watch in horror and excitement as my hand arcs down towards the tip, the stringy guts of the pepper stretching out to pull my shivering cock in. Five inches, four, three, two, one-and-a-half, one, three quarters, one half, one quarter, one eighth... The fire blazes through my blood immediately and turns it to lava, the aching flesh on the bottom side of my cock and on my nipples flaring back to life. Everything hurts, but I love the fire. I need it to survive.

Every inch of my body is tingling and burning and sweating and screaming. I hear my mouth whimpering pitifully as I try to keep myself from jerking away from the orange nightmare. I count down from fifty before I pull it away, gently stroking the rest of my shaft with my hot, pepper-covered hand in praise. It woulda only been thirty seconds if you hadn't tried to escape the first time. This's what you get for not being a man, Preston.

My hands fall to my sides and I just lay there in the cold, harsh air for a minute before I grab the other half of the pepper and bite into it again to release some more of its sweet juices. It slowly swirls around the tip of my cock, its spicy saliva dripping down the sides of my shaft. Tears are streaming from my eyes now and I can feel my nose running, but I can't block out the pain or the pleasure. It hurts... It hurts so much...

I reach fifty again and pull the pepper away, admiring the purple-red skin burning in the freezing air from the air conditioning. I grab my savior from the side table and shake it up real quick before I squirt a generous amount all over my weeping, screaming cock. It's in agony and it's making my whole body shake. I recap the squeeze bottle and put it back on the table before I start rubbing it in. The ice cold mayonnaise envelops and soothes my shrieking cock and the burning slowly starts to fade away. That familiar ache starts to settle in and I finally notice how thick and slippery the hot 'n spicy mayo combo is. Somewhere along the line, I came all over my stomach and sent burning droplets of cool mayo up past my belly button. The skin stings a little but not like my cock. I grab a washrag from the table and wipe most of it off of me, shakily getting to my feet to go grab a glass of milk. That'll save my taste buds and the remains of my weeping cyclops.

As I dip the tip into the cold white liquid, goosepimples rise all over my skin and a shiver goes up my spine. I rub a few drops on my nipples as I wait, my tired thighs shuddering weakly and trying to hold my body upright. It only took twenty minutes to do all this but it feels like I've been going for hours. Eventually, I pour the lukewarm milk down the sink and head for the bathroom to take a nice, long, hot bath. Hopefully that'll keep me from getting welts this time.