Crack Attack: A Collection of One-Shots and Other Disturbing Shit

New Message (Merome)

Character notes used for the short story "Her". If you decide to try to fight your way through that mess, please take a few seconds to read through the warnings section of the story description first. Some things are not meant to be seen by innocent eyes.

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Michelle. Mitchell. Michelle. Mitchell. Mi-shell. Mitch-shell. Mitch-elle. Mit-chelle. Mitchelle.

If you say it fast enough, it sounds the same.

If you say it enough times, it doesn't make sense anymore.

It doesn't mean anything.

But of course it means the world to you, Mitch. I still get the bitchface whenever I slip up once in a blue moon or don't say it perfectly clear. I don't mess up as much as I did before, back when you first changed your name and started spiking your hair. I haven't screwed up and called you 'she' in years. I never told anyone your secret. It's just you and your family and me and my family that knows. And you know I'd never tell.

Remember the good ol' days when our parents used to sit around and joke about us getting married someday? You in a big, ugly ass white dress and me in a cheesy, frilly black tux? I'd just laugh it off and you'd make that awful fuckin' face just thinking about it. Hell, I've worn more dresses in my lifetime than you have in yours. You've always had more of that machisimo shit than I have, even way back in the day. And now my boobs are bigger than yours. It must be all that Halloween candy. Things've changed a lot in twelve years, huh? Bullies, tears, moving, shrinks, doctors, ASF, pills, needles, computers, Minecraft, subscribers, stitches, autographs, pain killers, conventions, friends, lies, lies, lies.

And now you're dating this new girl. How long do you think you're gonna be able to keep the lies coming, Mitch? How long do you think she's gonna buy it? How long is she gonna stick around when she finds out? And whaddaya think she's gonna do then? Keep her mouth shut? Keep your secret? When you have all this money and she has all these dreams?

How're you gonna hide it? How're you gonna explain the needles? Say you use testosterone to treat diabetes? Even she wouldn't believe that. Do ya think she's gonna buy some lame ass excuse when you hafta explain to her why you have to strap your cock on? What about the other stuff you've got down there? Not sayin' it's a bad thing, but it might be kinda surprising to see her boyfriend has that, too. What about when she wants to have kids some day? How the hell's that gonna fly? It's not. It's gonna fly right out the window and crash and burn in our nasty, rotten egg-filled pool. She hasn't been to hell and back with you a million times like I have. She won't accept you no matter what like I always have. She won't understand, Mitch, not like I do.

Goddammit, man. It's so fuckin' obvious but you still won't look at it and call it what it is. You can call a fucking rose a palm tree as many times as you want, that ain't gonna change what it is. It's still gonna smell as sickly sweet even if you won't sniff it. This isn't one of Rob's philosophical bullshit sessions. Not going there today. It isn't Saturday night. We aren't drunk and going up like Nooch on a Tuesday. This is real, no matter how hard you try to deny it and no matter how hard you wish it wasn't real.

You say things without trying to say anything and you don't say the things a regular friend would say because you're so scared I'll take it the wrong way. Things aren't as laidback and comfy like they used to be because we're both walkin' on glass and trying not to say something that might be heard wrong. We can't even say we miss each other when you go home for two weeks and leave me here in fuckin' Floorland by myself. You can act all stoic if ya want, but I know you miss me, too. Why's it so bad to say something like that?