Crack Attack: A Collection of One-Shots and Other Disturbing Shit

Radar (Poofless)

July 6th at 7:02 PM, Fort Worth, TX: Preston

            Ding.

            I pause the recording and stop and drink my watered down pop that used to have ice cubes. It's probably just an e-mail from YouTube saying something was posted or someone trying to get me to buy something I don't want, or it's that freaking beanie order they said'd be backordered until the apocalypse comes. It better be the beanies. I look up and make sure the video's not still playing and I look down and click on the e-mail before I realize what it is. Stupid generic weather warning. Why do they even send me this crap?

The National Weather Service in Fort Worth has issued a

* Severe Thunderstorm Warning for

...Tarrant County in central Texas

...Parker County in central Texas

...* Until 215 AM CDT.

* At 659 PM CDT, severe thunderstorms were located along a line

extending from near Wichita Falls to Graham, moving southeast at 35 mph.

HAZARD...60 mph wind gusts.

SOURCE...Radar indicated.

IMPACT...Expect damage to roofs, siding, and trees.

*PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...Wind damage with

these storms will occur before any rain or

lightning. Do not wait for the sound of thunder before taking cover.

SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY inside a sturdy structure

and stay away from windows.

"No crap, Captain Crunch. I can hear it's freakin' raining." And I'm inside with noise-cancelling headphones on. People'd hafta be stupid not to notice there's a storm outside after it's been raining for two hours straight now and the wind's cat-calling me through the wall. The butt of my jeans's still wet from that bullshrimp. I told Rob we shoulda just GrubHubbed dinner but no, he had to make me go walk him like a freaking dog to the sandwich place. Next time he's going by himself. He's old enough to find a map and walk a quarter mile down the street.

---

July 6th at 8:28 PM, Fort Worth, TX: Preston

            "Wow. It's really comin' down now." It's getting darker-ish out as the sun starts to go down behind the layers of thick clouds and the lightning looks like it's getting brighter. And closer. And worse. It lights up the whole sky and it makes everything look white and cloudy because of how much it's raining. No wonder they issued a flood warning, jeebus. Hope Mom and Dad's house doesn't flood again. That'd suck bowling balls.

            Outta nowhere my phone starts vibrating non-stop and beep-screaming at me to look at it and I splash coffee outta my mug all over the window and the carpet in the hallway.

            "Crap. That was stupid. Preston, stop bein' a big baby and jumping at every little noise." I look around for somewhere to put my coffee and I don't see anywhere. "This's bull crap." Guess it's coming with me. I take it back to my office to grab some tissues to clean up my leaky jumpscare and I pull out my phone and expect to see another flood warning or something making my phone quake and I don't even hafta unlock it to see the good news. My heart drops outta my chest when I see the little black rectangle everyone hates.