Pitch Perfect After Barden

Chapter 23 I Can't Even

~beca's POV~

A couple days ago Brad and I went to the ultrasound. We didn't find out about the baby but you know, we will soon. I was just putting the girls in there cribs for the night. Well until they wake up again. I walked into mine and brads room and saw he was laying on the bed in his boxers with his eyes closed. I don't think he's sleeping but I think he's just trying to get to sleep.

I layed down beside him and he imediatly put his arm under my head. He moved closer to me and I snuggled into his chest. "Goodnight beca, I love you." He whispered as I turned the lamp off. "Night Brad, I love you too." I mumbled back and then fell asleep.

I woke up and looked at the clock beside the bed. It read 3:04. I felt really weird down below if you know what I mean, it felt a little wet to me. I took the covers off and looked carefully in the dark. The sheets under me are dark and I ran my finger over it. Holy shit, it's fucking blood.

"Oh my god, Bradley," I said tapping his arm until he woke up and sat up, "I'm bleeding, holy shit Bradley I'm bleeding." I repeated and I turned the lamp on. "Fuck. We gotta get you to the hospital." He said getting off the bed and putting some pants on. He grabbed a shirt out of the hamper and threw it on. "I'll go get the girls ready and you try and get ready yourself. If you need help, just call my name." He said rushing out of the room.

Tears started streaking my cheeks and I carefully got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. I put them on and then grabbed one of Brads sweaters. I walked out of the room, putting my hand on the wall for support. I walked into the twins room to Brad picking up both car seats. He carefully ran down the stairs and put the girls down. He came back up and grabbed both of my hands to help me.

We made it down and I started wiping the tears away. I put my shoes on and he put his on. I opened the door and walked outside. He put the girls outside, locked the door and then brought them over to the car and buckled them both in. He got in the drivers seat and then when he was trying to put the key in the ignition he dropped them on the floor. He quickly picked them up and finally put the key in and reversed out of the driveway.

Eventually I stopped crying and just hoped for the best. I pulled up the hood on his sweater and just stared out the window. Please just let it be nothing. Please. I don't want anything to happen, just let it be nothing. I started taking deep breaths and eventually we made it to the hospital. We parked pretty close and he grabbed the car seats put of the back.

I followed him in through the entrance and the lady sitting behind the desk looked up at us. "How may I assist you?" She asked as she stood up and started toward me. "Im pregnant, and um I woke up and I was bleeding and I just. I just don't know." I tryed to explain and she ran back behind the desk. I didn't know what she had said but she said something into a walkie-talkie or something.

Just then a doctor came rushing down the hallway with a wheelchair. "Take a seat." The doctor with the wheel chair said. I sat down and Brad followed as the doctor led me to wherever we were going. She entered a room and helped me onto the hospital bed. Brad put the girls down beside my bed and the doctor asked him to help me put on a hospital gown.

I took the sweater off and he helped me take my shirt off. "Your such a beauty, you know." He said and I sighed. "Bradley it's really not the time, please. I love you but Bradley, please." I said as he put the hospital gown over my head. I took my sweat pants off and I sat back down on the bed. He sat beside me and held my hand.

A doctor came in after a few minutes and said he was going to take some tests. I really just didn't pay any attention. I payed all my attention to Brad. He was now sitting beside my bed in a chair with the girls in front of him. He leaned close to me and wrapped one of his arms around me. "It'll be ok." He whispered in my ear and my mouth felt really dry. "I hope so." I said and then the doctor left the room.

"No matter what happens beca, I want nothing to change between us." Brad said and I sunk down in the bed. "Nothings gonna change, I promise." I said and layed back. He held onto both of my hands with either one of his hands. He would squeeze, then I would squeeze and then we'd both squeeze at the same time hurting each other's hands.

A little while later, about 40-50 minutes, the doctor came back in. I sat up in the bed and was ready to hear whatever he had to say.

"Mrs.Mitchel, on here it says that before tonight you were pregnant. I'm so sorry to say this but you have had a miscarriage. If you would like further details please contact this number." He finished off and put a phone number beside me on the bed.

I couldn't hold in the tears and I burst out crying. Brad stood up and tryed to hug me and I fell into him. I started crying harder and I just couldn't hold it in. "I-i just can't beleive th-this. I j-just can't even." I stopped talking and continued to cry.

Brad helped me change back into the clothes that I came here in and the crying sorta stopped but I was still sniffling and once in a while a couple tears would fall.

We walked out of the hospital and to where we parked the car. He buckled the girls in and I sat in the passengers seat. "You know, we could always try again." He said when he got in the car. "That's true, we will try again soon but I just, I just don't wanna try right now. This is just to much to process." I told him and he rested his hand on my leg. "I respect that." He said and I leaned in and gave him a small kiss.

We drove home in silence. When we got there I imideiatly went to the bedroom and stripped the sheets off the bed. I threw them on the floor for the time being and went into the hallway closet to grab some more sheets. I put the sheets on and then walked back downstairs and went into the little room that had the washer and dryer.

I put the sheets in the washer and started it up. I went back up stairs and took brads sweater off, I didn't bother changing. I layed down in the bed and watched the bedroom door, waiting for Brad. After a minute or so he walked in and gave me a small smile. He went to his side of the bed and stripped out of his clothes and then snuggled next to me.

"I really am sorry about all of this Becs. I love you ok. I'm gonna be here for you through everything." He said as I put my head on my chest. "I know and I love you more for that." I said and he put his arm around me and held me tighter.

I just don't know what to think about this. I just lost my third child to a miscarriage. I don't even wanna leave the house anymore, it's sad. I don't wanna see anyone but the girls and Brad. Everyone else will try to comfort me and I won't be comfortable with them trying to. I just can't even process this right now.