A Queen of Narnia - Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian fanfiction NEW VERSION

Nightmares

iii.

I dreamed of Caspian that night after having fallen asleep deeply after Caspian had tucked me into bed. Sometime during the night, I could feel that Lucy and Gale joined me in the bed since we all shared it. It was a little crowded, but the bed was big and neither of them wanted to sleep with the men downstairs. I had been completely exhausted after the long day on deck. My powers weakened me since they required a lot of energy from my body. I had never used them to keep waves away before and it was very hard. The night had been horrible, but not only for me but for everyone else on board the ship. It was like a curse had spread over us all, digging into our minds. I wished that my dreams of Caspian could be beautiful, nice and warm but this dream was quite the opposite.

We were standing on a white beach, the beach that had been just outside Cair Paravel with sand as white as snow. There was white, warm sand under my bare feet as long as my eyes could see. The mountains rose over the ruins of Cair Paravel that Caspian had only just started to re-build again. My eyes travelled over the beach and I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin as I stopped and saw Caspian stand with open arms, smiling toward me. I walked closer to him, fast, and at the last bit, I rushed into his arms. I buried my face into his warm chest, heard his heart beat hard.

"I love you, Derya," he had said, and his voice had been so clear, but it still sounded very distant.

Caspian's voice was normally a little raspy, while this Caspian had a strangely smooth voice. It wasn't the Caspian that I loved, my Caspian. My Caspian, the King of Narnia, had a voice that always was filled with a sense of responsibility yet youthfulness. Then sometimes when he spoke to me, I could hear the evident love in his voice and how he softened when I was there.

"I love you too," I had said without hesitation. Even if I somehow knew that it wasn't my Caspian that I was embracing and that it was a dream I was living in, I wanted to tell him how I felt to his face.

Caspian looked me right in the eyes and into my soul before he pressed his lips against mine. His lips were so cold and somehow rough rather than warm, gentle and soft. It wasn't how I had imagined my first kiss with Caspian to be like, and I had imagined it many times. The kiss was interrupted by a green mist surrounding us suddenly, wrapping my waist like an arm and Caspian's as well. It forced us apart with such force it took me by surprise. I reached out for Caspian and he reached for me, but we couldn't touch each other because of the distance.

It was like a voice whispered in my ear to look back toward the sea, but I was sure I was the only one who could hear it. I did look back and saw the sea kingdom, creatures up over the sea's surface. They screamed for help for they needed their Queen, something was happening under the water. I had to choose between what I most loved; go to Caspian or give him up for my kingdom that I needed to save from whatever danger it was in.

I felt a tear running down my cheek when I started walking towards the sea and left Caspian behind. I had to choose, and I couldn't betray my kingdom for my own selfishness. Caspian was what I loved above anything else, yet I knew that he would have never forgiven me for choosing him before duty.

"I love you, Caspian," I cried and turned back to look at him. I wanted him more than anything in the world, but as a Queen, I had my responsibilities.. "Forgive me."

He disappeared into thin air after the choice was made, and then I woke up without a single tear in my cold eyes.

***

ii.

It was a horrible dream; one I had never had before. It tested my head from the beginning to the end and I was pretty sure that I had been crying in my sleep. It felt so incredibly real, every one of my senses were activated. I was certain it was the reality as I dreamed that I had my large kingdom behind, standing outside its gates. I could hear horses hooves on the stone floor, smell newly baked bread and feel the wind against my face.