"Sophie," I say breathlessly after I finally broke our kiss. She has the sweetest lips, almost as good as Cara's. God, I really have to stop thinking about Cara, especially when Sophie's here. "Wait, I don't think I'm ready for this."
Sophie pulls away a bit, just enough for her to look me in the eyes. She does this adorable head tilt and smile sweetly at me. "Why? Because you're still not over her yet?"
I nod, decided to be honest about my situations with Sophie, no matter the consequences. It's only fair that way. No more lies. Not after what Cara did to me. I wouldn't do that to Sophie too.
"I'm not asking you to fall head over heels with me now." She brushes away a strand of hair from my face. "I only want you to try. Maybe I'll be the one who heals your wounds. Maybe I won't. Maybe we'll be perfect for each other. Maybe we better off as friends. But we won't know for sure unless we try."
"But it won't be fair to you if I still have feelings with somebody else."
She shakes her head and chuckles. "In case you haven't heard it, all is fair in love and war. I don't care. I like you and I think you like me too. Life's too damn short and we won't end up anywhere if we spend too much time to be afraid. Be brave, Jess. Give us a chance."
"I'm afraid to be hurt again, Sophie."
"I can't promise you that I won't do that. The possibility of being hurt will always be there. It's up to you to decide whether this," she points at me and her, "is worth the risks."
I still stuck with my silence for a while, thinking about her words. My heart and brain is having a mental battle within me. This is too much. I'm still not ready for this. But when she sees me still hesitating, she continues.
"I dare you to kiss this girl that you met on this beach. I dare you to let her make everything alright again."
Those words are so her. Sophie and her games. So phie and her carefree attitudes toward life. Sophie and the possibilities she brings with her into my life. Maybe it's her words, or the perfect setting of our little romantic scene. But suddenly I feel like I'm weightless, like I'm able to see past the negatives and just see her there. She is still smiling at me, waiting for me to meet her halfway. She offers me another chance in love, to be brave and grab the possibilities. I see her eyes sparkles like the millions starts above us. That's all I see. For once, I do not see Cara, with crumpled clothes and messy hair which were pointing out her betrayal. So I wrap my arms around Sophie's waist and pull her closer until each inch of our body touches. She smells like the ocean, fresh and energizing. The warmth from her body pressed close to mine gives the strength I need to take this chance. I close my eyes and kiss her again, with more passion this time. As our lips move together, I feel the burdens that I've been carrying around are being lifted off my shoulder. The clock is finally ticking again. My new life has started.
*
Once love ended, it seems impossible to live without it. She was the air that I breathed. She was the anchor of my existence in this messed up world. When she left, the only thing that stayed was the idea of her. The idea of how perfect she was for me. The very thing that represents all of the goodness that got away from me. It hurt like hell, the abrupt stop of the act of falling in love. It hurt so bad, I swore that I wouldn't do that again in the near future. No more love, hence no more pain. I was ready to give up on the idea of being in love.
But Sophie came with bandages. The only thing that she asked from me was my trust, to let her touch my fresh wounds. The wounds that won't stop bleeding because I refused to tend them. Sophie makes everything's easy for me. She reminds me of what's really important in life. Happiness. What's the point of living if you're not happy? What's the point of loving if pain is all you got from it?
She let me to fall slowly, to take each step carefully. She always smiles when we are a fraction away from kissing, challenging me with her eyes. Those blue eyes asking, "Are you ready?" The anticipation. The thrill. The joy. She brought it all back into my life. She always knows when I am afraid about anything. Afraid to open up again. Afraid to love again. Afraid to eat those nasty looking local food that she really wanted to try. Afraid to hold her hand. Afraid to get lost in our kisses. Afraid of the possibility of her slipping through my fingers again. She always tell me, we have so many reasons to be afraid of something. We could let our fears rule our life. Or we could just tell them to fuck off and live our life to the fullest. I chose to be brave. I chose to take her hand when she offered them to me. With an easy smile on her face, she looked back to me and said, "Only when you're ready, babe."
