The wedding is going in two days, everything's already in place. Well, everything but the mind of my fiancee. Which is kind of important, I must add. She often spaced out from me, right in the middle of the wedding frenzy. Staring into the distance, with her forehead creased. Something is bothering her and it's not the wedding. God I hope it isn't. Sometimes my gentle touches on her arm or my intruding voice were enough to lure her into the real world. Sometimes it wasn't.
"Jess? Love?" I wave my hand in front of her beautiful face. She's clearly deep in her thoughts, as her face has a faraway look on it.
She blinks fast and snaps out of her daydreaming session. A slow smile is forming on her lips, which is directed at me. "What is it, babe?"
"You were spacing out again. Where did you just go to?" I say carefully, not wanting to tick her off since it is only two days into the wedding. She's still in her Bridezilla mode, snapping off from even the slightest glitch in our plan. But no matter how I tried to be nonchalant about it, I couldn't get rid the concerned tone from my voice.
"Oh, come on. Talk to me." I sweep off a strand of her from her face. "I don't want my bride-to-be be any less than ridiculously happy on our wedding day."
She looks at my grinning face with a strange expression on her face. I didn't see it that much the whole time we're together, but I can tell what it means. Guilt. She's biting her lower lips and looks shyly at my eyes. I wonder what she did which makes her looks this way. Maybe it's her bachelorette party. But it's scheduled for tomorrow. It's not it.
"Love, do you have something to say to me?" My eyebrow raises and I watch her squirm on her seat. "Just talk to me please. Now you're just making me nervous. You're not having a second thought about this, do you?"
Her brief pause is like a slap straight to my face. It is only there for not more than two seconds, but it is there nonetheless. Even when she denies it profusely now, I'm starting to think that she does have that kind of thoughts.
"No! Of course not! It's just the wedding jitters, babe. You know, with a lot is going on and all, I feel like I could explode any time now."
"Well, I'm hoping that you won't, love. I kind of need you to be there at the altar and look incredibly beautiful for me in your wedding dress." I try to joke about it and lighten the mood. She only gives me a weak smile in response.
"It's only two days from now, huh?" She tried to be upbeat about it, but failed miserably. *Fuck, what is it?*
"Whoa, hold down your excitements, woman." I throw my hands up mockingly. Then I turn serious and tilt her chin up with my finger, so she would see me straight in the eyes. "Jess, this is what you really want, right? Because if it's not, it's not too late to back down now."
Of course it is. Dammit, if she gets out now, I would be utterly crushed. I only say this because I want to be a good fiancee for her. I don't want to push her into anything that she's not comfortable with. Especially a lifelong commitment like marriage. It would do no good for me either to have a reluctant wife for the rest of my life.
"I'm fine, baby. I am, really." She grabs my hand and put a reassuring squeeze at it. "I just have a lot in mind right now. I need the time to clear off my mind. But I swear I'm not backing away."
"Of course, love. I understand. May I know the cause of your stress? Maybe I can help you with it." I need to know if it's something that can be fixed. Preferably within two days.
"No, it's okay. I can deal with it by myself." She sees my arching eyebrow and knows that I'm not going to drop the topic until she answers it. She relents with a sigh. "I met Cara four days ago."
