Flashes of light in the club, mixed with the alcohol in my blood, makes me feel more alive than I've been these past weeks. Admittedly, I was a tad reluctant to join Kendall in our Burberry's show after party. I was tired as hell, since I was already up at 5 o'clock in the morning for make-up and last minute fittings for the show. After closing the show, all I wanted was my big comfy bed. But Kendall insisted and here I am. It turned out that there's nothing that alcohol couldn't fix. You name it. Sore feet, cranky mood, aching heart, shattered hope. It's all good after my third shot of the night. The fact that the after party is full of beautiful girls, as it always has, doesn't hurt the case either. Life is good for me. Finally.
I catch the sexy smile of a redhead from the corner of my eye. She's looking gorgeous with her sexy little black dress, which is clinging tightly onto all of the right places. With her pointy high heels on, she sways to the rhythm of the music. She gives me the look again. It says, "Come and get me." I shoot her a confident smile, not making a move yet. I just stand by the bar, studying the moves of her banging body from across the room. I love the unspoken challenge that is written across her face. This is something that I am good at. The chase. Committing, not so much. From the way she glances at me every once in a while, I can tell that she wants to play. Oh, boy. She doesn't know how much fun we're going to have together tonight. Kendall is right. I need to go out and play more. I need to feel alive again.
"She's hot, Cara," Kendall shouts to my ears. The music is just too loud for us to speak normally. "I heard that she's the up and coming model of the month. Totally right for you."
I roll my eyes at her comment. I know what Kendall meant by 'totally right for you'. The newcomers are usually easy to approach and so eager to please. The ultimate catch for the night. Especially for a top tier model like me. It would be easy, too easy. Somehow, it makes the redhead seems less interesting to me.
"I'm not sure about it. I don't think that I am in the mood for a hook up tonight."
"Oh, come on." Kendall bumps my shoulder lightly with hers. "You never seem in the mood these days. Lighten up. Live your life, Car!"
Then she yanks at my arm and pulls me further into the dance floor, closer to my target of the night. Kendall dances with me for a while, systematically guides me to the direction of the redhead. Reading into the situation, the redhead moves closer to me. A sexy smirks on her lips, she makes her way until she's dancing in front of me. She doesn't make an attempt to interact with me at first, only making a show of her sexy moves for my entertainment. Boy, did I love the view. I have to admit that the redhead is just too tempting to be passed on.
"Hey, you," I lean my head close to hers, so she can hear me. She purposely moves closer until we're just inches away from each other. I think the temperature just went up a notch as the night goes by. "Care for a dance?"
"Sure," she says with a triumphant smile on her face. "For now," then she adds with a teasing tone.
At that moment, I know that we're going to do a lot more than dancing by the end of the night. Probably until the morning light. Damn, life is good.
*
I untangle myself from a naked body beside me. From the look of the outside world, it's noon already. Sitting on the edge of stranger's bed, I scan my eyes around the room, trying to locate my things. We made quite a mess last night. Chuckle inwardly, I get up from the bed and starting to get dressed. While buttoning my shirt, I consider my options. A clean and quick exit or the usual thank you notes? I glance at the sleeping figure on the bed, making sure that she's still sleeping. I clearly won't stick around until she wakes up. It would be too awkward, especially when I don't intend to make this a regular thing. Not really ready for that. I don't want to stay, but I don't want to act like an ass either. So I decided to write her a note, which is loaded with the proper excuse, and get the coffee machine going for her. That way, I probably seem less like a jerk to her. With a quick glance to make sure that I don't leave anything behind, I make my exit from the redhead's apartment.
After I got in my car, I turn on my phone and catch up with the world. A couple of articles about last night party. The usual hook up/break up stories of the Hollywood's rich and famous. Bla, bla, bla. I smirk as I see a picture of Kendall, having too much fun at the party last night. Well, I guess she has some story to tell when we meet again later. I continue to flick my fingers across the screen, until my eyes catch the headline of one of Hollywood's gossip websites. 'JUST GOT ENGAGED!' Just below the capital letters, the photo of Sophie and Jess. My Jess. With a big diamond ring on her finger. And a face-splitting grin on her face. And the glint of happiness dancing in her eyes. And Sophie's arm wrapped around her waist. And Sophie's loving gaze directed at her glowing face. The fucking happiest couple on earth, it says.
"Shit," is the only thing I managed to say.
I feel like the newfound energy that I had last night has just been drained out of me. My chest tightens, like somebody just crushed my heart. Goddammit. I blink rapidly, not quite believing what I am seeing right now. This can't be right. There's no way that she got engaged last night. All the while I went through yet another one night stand. I close my eyes as I press my hands hard against my face. Is this how it going to be from now on? She, lives happily ever after with another girl, while I'm barely able to form a relationship with another human being for more than one night? I thought that I was the one who scarred her on the night we broke up and she left me. Apparently, I was the one who walked out as a damaged person that night. I mean, who am I kidding? There would be no one else for me out there but her.
What the fuck am I going to do now?
