I promise.

22

*SIERRA*

When Julian texted me that he wanted to talk, I got worried. I think dinner last night freaked him out at the idea of me and college. I know we have to talk about it eventually, but I really, really don't want to.

I opened the front door when I heard his familiar knock and greeted him with a kiss.

"Hi babe." I smiled.

"Hi." He said, no smile on his face.

He sat down on the couch and I sat beside him and held his hand.

I took a deep breath, but it didn't calm me down. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Is USF the only school you got an acceptance letter to yesterday?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I got rejected by Florida Southern, and Jacksonville University, but that's it."

"So you didn't--"

"Get a letter from the New York School of Photography? No, I didn't get anything from them."

"Ok, but when you do." He continued. "Then what?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, I'm going to USF."

He grabbed my hands and looked me in my eyes. "Why?"

"Because. You're here. And I love you."

"Sierra I love you too, but you can't stay for me. That's stupid."

I winced and pulled my hands away from him. I bit my lip to try and keep my cool, but my eyes still watered. "So...you want me to leave?"

"No!" He grabbed my hands again. "I mean...yes. If it's to go to your dream school with your sister, then yes. I love you too much to let you give up your plans for me."

I shook my head as tears rushed down my face. "Well they aren't my plans anymore. They WERE, before I met you. But now things are different."

"They shouldn't be." He sighed. "I don't wanna be the one who ruins your life."

"Julian how could you ever think you'd do that? I wanna stay because you make my life so much better."

"Okay but...lets just say that we break up, hypothetically. Then you'd regret going to USF wouldn't you?"

"Probably." I confessed.

"Exactly, but if you go to school in NY you wouldn't regret it would you?"

"I would. Because I'd be leaving you."

I started sobbing and could feel my body shaking. Julian wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his chest.

"Can we please not do this now?" I begged him. "I just wanna be happy."

He squeezed me and I could feel that he was nodding his head. "Ok baby, not now, I'm sorry."

I knew that he was right and it was so hard to admit to myself. When the day comes, I will have to choose. And whether or not I choose to stay or go...I'll be losing something that I love.