I promise.

33

*JULIAN*

I'm disappointed in myself. I kept telling myself that if Sierra got accepted I would be happy for her, but watching her and her sister get so happy actually made me really sad. I don't want her to go. I won't tell her that, but I don't want her to.

I sat on my bed staring blankly at the wall until Andrea walked in.

"Hey Julian. I thought you'd be at Sierra's, are you ok?"

I couldn't get my throat to release any sound so that I could speak. I looked back at the wall and let the warm tears run down my face.

"Julian!" Andrea gasped and ran over to the bed. She sat beside me and pulled me into her arms. I cried into her chest like a baby, and I never cry.

"I love her so much." I sobbed. "I love her."

Andrea rubbed my back and started rocking slowly back and forth. "I know Julian. I know. Everything is gonna be ok."

I cried harder when she spoke because I knew she was wrong. Once Sierra leaves nothing will be ok. I finally found someone who truly cares about ME, not just my looks, or the attention I get from YouKnow, but she's going to leave me.

When I felt Andrea about to let go I wrapped my arms around her, begging her not to move. My mom was away at work, so was my dad, and Jovani was spending the night at Nalah's. Andrea was all I had.

"Julian. I'll be right back ok. I promise."

I reluctantly let her go and she stepped outside the room to call her boss. She said that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it to work.

"I'm sorry for making you do that." I told her when she came back in.

"Don't worry about it. I didn't want to go anyways."

We both got under my covers and she wrapped her arms around me just like my mom would have done.

"You're so lucky Andrea. That you and Ryan go to the same school."

"I know." Andrea admitted.

"How am I supposed to not see her every day? How am I supposed to be happy when she's gone?"

"You take it one day at a time." She said.

I shut my eyes as more tears slipped from under my lids.

"I love her."

"Then you have to let her go." Andrea told me.

I hid my face in her chest again and soaked her T-shirt with my tears. When is the pain going to go away? When are these tears going to stop? I squeezed Andrea tighter and thought to myself never.