Painful Beauty

Chapter 10:

Chapter 10:

"God says let the marriage bed be undefiled." Pastor Mike says seriously moving his finger with every word as if hes reading it from the air. "Anytime we have sex with anyone that we are not married to we are adulterers. Adulterers are people that fornicate with someone other than their spouse." he defines and I look around to people hanging on to his every word.

I just listen not knowing what to think on it. "A spouse is someone your married to. Someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Having sex with all of these people is a spiritual thing and you end up falling for them and marrying the wrong person to only get divorced a few months or years later. Don't stray from God's path people but if you do stray remember God is always here to pick you back up and help you along the way."

He closes the service off with a prayer and tells us all to get home safely. Avlon smiles at me and we stand. Dallas grabs her hand and they say by to people on the way out stopping to introduce me as their daughter. It makes me smile because I love this man and woman like parents.

"So how did you like it?" Avlon asks when we get into Dallas's truck.

With a shrug I state seriously "I kinda feel like an adulterer." Dallas scoffs and Avlon gasps shocked. "I mean I know I didn't consent to it but it was still sex."

"Oh baby no." Avlon says softly taking my hands in hers. She gives me a serious look and says "That was not sex Braylee. Sex is consenting and getting what you want from it. What happened to you. What happened to us was not consented. We did not want that to happen to us and God knows that. God knows what happened. Adulterers consent to what happen and we did not. The people who hurt us yes they are adulterers but us baby we're not we were victims but by Christ's blood we're saved. We're healed and strengthened. Once you give yourself to God you'll see what I mean. God wants us to be strong and baby you are so strong. It wasn't your fault." She says softly and my eyes start to water so she brings me into a hug quickly.

I understand what shes saying but the fact that i'm not a virgin anymore hurts me. I wanted my first time to be special and now it will never be. When I am able to make love with my husband I don't know what I would do. Will I feel I am being raped and push him away or will I trust him fully and know he would never hurt me? It's a never ending question I can't answer until I ask for God's help.

Avlon runs her hands down my hair in a soothing motion and Dallas says "Pregnant hormones." Making us laugh a little.

"Thanks for that." I say to both of them with a small smile.

They share a look and then look back at me grinning. "That's what parents do." they recite at the same time making my grin widen.

.

"Bray!" Avlon shouts from the kitchen and I cock my head coming down the stairs after changing from church.

I smile and laugh when I see her in the kitchen with flower on her face. She scowls at me playfully and says "I just realized we have no eggs." she gestures around her at all of the food and I nod understanding what shes asking. "Could you go to the store and get some please?"

"Sure."

She beams at me and says "Your a life saver baby. My keys are in the bowl and the card should be in there to." I raise a brow at that and she just shrugs saying that's where she always keeps it since she don't carry a purse.

I go to the bowl and nod impressed when everything I need is there. When I get outside I wave at Walter and Wayne when they yell my name with genuine smiles.

Getting into the Kia I make my thirty minute drive into town.

"You know smoking kills you." I say seriously smiling when he turns around shocked.