Tayvin/Talvin/Caylor: 'I Love You's

Chapter 2

Taylor's POV

The nurse led me back into my hospital room, and told me to take the pregnancy test.

I felt my hands shaking as i took the pregnancy test from the nurse's hand, not feeling that well about being pregnant already.

Could things even get any worse? I lost the love of my life and now I might be pregnant with his baby.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

I sighed. There was not point in knowing if I was having a baby or not. I couldn't care less, my mind was too focused on Adam.

Even though I really didn't want to take the stupid test, I took it anyway. At least I might find some blades in the drawers or something...

Wait, what am I thinking?! Aren't I supposed to be the one who stays strong while facing every single thing in life? I'm supposed to be a role model, aren't I?

But as I thought about it, living in a world without Adam just sounds too lonely and sad and depressing for me, so I just passed my ideas back and forth in my head, mostly about ways to kill yourself when the love of your life died tragically because he breathed in the gas from the eruption and because he probably broke a few bones wen e literally fell and rolled down the steep slopes of the mountain (or should I call it a volcano?). And something else than that, but I didn't know what it was and I didn't care.

I went into the bathroom and took the test. And as the text on the box said, I waited for approximately five minutes.

As I waited, I rummaged furiously through the drawers, finding nothing but some pills.

Well, at least there are some pills...

I picked the container up and opened it, putting a bunch of pills in my hand.

But just as I was about to chug it down, the nurse bursted through the bathroom door.

HOW THE HELL DID SHE EVEN-?

I shook my head in disbelief. The nurse - miraculously - always finds a way to the room without any clue and just stops whatever you're doing. And what I was doing seemed to catch her eye, as she rushed to me and forced my hand away from my mouth.

"What are you doing?!" She sort of shouted at me.

Well that marked the first time I was scolded by a nurse.

"Um... you know... I was just..." I struggled with my own words.

"Your friends has come to see you, Ms. Swift. And they need you," she said, leading me out of the room.

But when my eyes glanced that the pregnancy test, I froze.

The whole world seemed to stop, in a bad way though.

How am I going to handle all of this on my own?

I felt my arm being tugged gently, but I was still frozen. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. My mind was in shock. Heck, my whole body was in shock.

"No, no, no, no, no," I said repeatedly, shaking my head, refusing to believe it. As expected, the test came in positive.

"How am I gonna tell them? I'm not going out," I said to the nurse.

"You have to take your daily dosage of fluids, Ms. Swift," she said.

I sighed.
-
"Hey, Tay," Cara said with a scratchy voice.

I smiled sadly at all of my friends hanging out in the room, each of them with sad expression on their faces.

"You guys wanna visit Adam?" Karlie asked. "I got us some special passes," she continued.

"You're a life saver," I said, hugging her.
-
I went to his room, and the thing that made it different from the last time, was I had permission to be there. To be with Adam.

The others were waiting outside, as we were all told to go one by one. And being the best best friends they are, they let me get in first.

I grabbed a chair from the side and sat beside his bed as he lied there motionless.

I wondered of how it would feel to just not exist in this world anymore. I wondered about how it would feel, being in Adam's arms again.

I sighed for the millionth time that day.

I held Adam's hand, and started crying. The tears weren't really there anymore, I probably had cried it all out, so it was just these gasping sounds I made every time I took a breath.

He had a heart monitor to his right, which was beeping its long, endless beep, signaling that the person passed away.

"Come back, please," I begged, but there was no use. He didn't move a muscle (but if he did that'd be really scary).

"I love you so much, Adam." I cried. "And I can't let you go," I continued to cry, gripping his hand tighter. "But if letting go is less painful than holding on, it's fine. I want what's best for you," I said, and tears finally made their way down my face.

I shut my eyes tightly, letting the tears fall, before collecting myself and took a deep breath.

I knew I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but I won't ever be ready to say goodbye.

I pressed my lips to his cold forehead, and after that, I put my forehead on his, just like how we used to do it.

I exhaled through my nose, and closed my eyes once again.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a pair of green eyes staring right back at my blue ones.

I instantly blinked a few times, it seemed to be real. But when I stood up straighter and rubbed my eyes, his eyes were still closed.

Damn you, imagination.

I caressed his cold, pale cheek, and pressed my lips to his one last time.

"I love you, goodbye," I said sadly, using my hands to remove strands of short blond hair from his face.

I turned back and walked towards the door slowly, since I wanted to spend as many time with him as possible, even though he wasn't there anymore.

Then I realize something: he would never know that he was going to be a father.
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Hey guys! So I hope you liked this chapter! I know it's sad and dark, but I hope it'll get better in the next chapters.

Comment below of how think this chapter was, whether you liked it or not, whether it's sad or not, whatever you want. Heck, my friend even commented on how much she hates me because I killed Adam 😂 (if you can't see what it is, it's a laughing emoji).

Bye
DSBF