Gravity

Chapter 8

*Some content may be uncomfortable to read*





" David that was absolutely perfect! Thank you so much for doing that.....you know crashing the wedding and all." She rambled.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. It was a lovely evening." I watched on as she tried her best  to make her way about the room as gracefully as she could only to no avail. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.
"The champagne getting to you is it?"
"Mmmmmm It was so delicious. I can't believe I met THE Ed Sheeran and all because of you!" She exclaimed with that dreamy look in her eyes.
Making my way over to her I placed my hands on her hips to help steady her swaying body.
"I'm glad you  got the opportunity. It was nice."
"That it was."
Her eyes trailed up my body along with her hands up my arms. When her eyes met mine her breath caught.
"Thank you again. It was so perfect."
"You are most welcome Joss."
There was a pause in time just us staring at one another before she gave in and placed her lips to mine. Shock was quickly replaced with hunger. I wanted more....needed more  and craved it but with that I knew this wasn't right. Not like this.

"Joss....wait." I placed my forehead against hers trying to regain some composure.
"What? What is it?" she breathed.
"We can't. Not like this. I don't want any regrets."
Her eyes searched mine a moment before she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me into her.
"Just fuck me then" she whispered against my ear.
A low moan escaped my throat with her blunt demand along with most of my strength.
"Joslyn...I........"
Searching for my words became more difficult with her kissing along my neck.
"I don't think this is a good idea."
"I do." she continued.
Trying with every ounce of man in me to hold my ground I carefully lead the way to her room.
"I have a better idea."
"What could possibly be better than sex?" I cocked my head to the side at her question....
"Good point...but believe it or not there are a couple of things that rank pretty high along side."
She watched me curiously as I removed my hat, jacket, and shoes. Standing before her I reached for the hem of her dress slowly pulling it above her head revealing the most incredible sight I have ever seen. It was now my turn to stop breathing as I suddenly began to second guess my decision. My eyes roamed over every blessed curve of her body before removing my own shirt.
"David" she breaths out in a raspy sex dripped voice tugging on my last shred of restraint I had.
"Sshhhhh." placing my finger to her full swollen lips.
"Arms up." And as much as my body screamed in protest I placed my shirt over her head.
"What are you doing?" she pouted.
"Do you trust me?"
She gave me a questioning glance before slowly nodding her head yes.
"Good. Now come." I placed my hand in hers as I led her around to the bed.
"Get in."
"But I...."
"No. Get in."
She hesitated briefly before she crawled on all fours across the bed causing my body to stir.
"Stop that."
"What?"
"Don't play games with me Joslyn. You will loose."
"But what if that's the point?"
Crawling in next to her I wrapped my arms around her pulling her close next  to me.
"Not going to happen Joslyn. When I make love to you, you will be sober to feel and remember every single last touch do you understand?"
"Oh..."
"Now sleep beautiful girl."

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The darkness holds me captive with the exception of the light from the bottom of the doorway. I could hear him coming....see his shadow stop at my door. Holding my breath I pulled the covers over my head in hopes he couldn't see me once he entered. Too late! The smell of cigarettes and alcohol consume the once orange smell in my room. His cold rough hands snake up my legs until they reach the waistline of my pajama pants pulling them off. Every single muscle in my body goes rigid hoping to help fight against him but who was I kidding? my small 7 year old body was no match compared to his. Squeezing my eyes shut I braced myself for what was to come. The tears fall relentlessly as he went on with brutal force until satisfied leaving me once again  cold, naked and alone and used.

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"Joslyn!! Joss wake up!! Joslyn! Look at me!"

This voice....HIS voice was pulling me away from the darkness. What was happening? What was he doing here?

"Joss! It's ok. I'm here. Wake up!"

Jumping up from the bed I quickly looked around taking in my surroundings finally realizing where I was.
"Oh no..."
I turned around to see a very concerned David sitting up in the bed staring at me.

"Are you ok?" he asked but before I could answer him I ran into my bathroom.

"Just great" I moaned between heaves.
"Joslyn?" his voice approached.
"Just go away. I'm fine"
"I beg to differ."
I could hear the water from behind me at the sink then my hair being lifted off from my neck being replaced with a cool cloth.
"David just stop it." I don't want you to see me like this."
"It's fine Joss. I don't care. What was that?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
Getting myself up from the floor I rinsed my mouth out then stalked passed him back to bed with him hot on my heels.
"Do you need to talk about it?" he asked gently
"No. I just want to go back to bed."
"Ok" he sighed.
I watched in surprised as he made his way around to the other side of my bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Going back to bed...I thought you were ok with me here.... I apologize."
"I just need to be alone."
"I understand."
He hesitated at the door before he turned around to ask "Are you sure you are ok?"
Never taking my eyes off from the blanket on the bed I answered "Yup. Goodnight."
After he finally shut the door I pulled out my earplugs hoping the music would drown everything else out. Pulling the covers over my head I let the tears flow freely until exhaustion finally took me over and pulled me back into darkness once again.

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Monday morning came all too soon and with no sign of Joslyn yesterday due to her locking herself in her room all day I felt a sense of unease settling over me and I hated it. I felt off balance....lacking....and overall just....lost.
I headed over to our secluded beach location for the new Light Blue shoot to see Joslyn already there setting up. Relief instantly washed over me. I carefully looked her over in search of any clues as to what mood she may  be in but could find nothing. She was shut off....distant and cold. Forcing smiles as needed....not my warm spunky Joslyn. Whatever had happened the other night had taken it's toll on her I could easily see.

"Hey David! You finally made it. Let's get you ready."  Anthony my photographer greeted.
"Hey. How are you doing? Have a safe trip?" I asked.
"I did. I'm loving this weather. Now come on man. Enough with the small talk. Let's get this ball rolling. Leaves more fun time for me when we get things wrapped up! This is Miami after all!"
I couldn't help but laugh my eyes glancing back over to Joslyn who just happen to look over but quickly looking away.

I took a seat in her chair watching as she made herself look busy.
"Joslyn....I apologize for the other night. If I overstepped my place...."
"You didn't Mr. Gandy. All is forgotten."
"Mr. Gandy? What happened to just David?" My stomach dropped into the sand at her formality.
"A little unprofessional don't you think?"
"Joslyn." I grabbed her hand to still her and make her look at me.
"David please...."she whispered.
I could see her eyes starting to glass over.
"Please don't do this. Don't shut me out." I pleaded.
"There is nothing to shut you out from."
Bullet to the chest. I knew what she said held truth but I didn't want our progress to back track.
"Ok. I understand."
Silence took over for the rest of the time I sat in her chair as she worked with her earbuds in their trusty place drowning out her life around her.

"You ready?" Anthony appeared under our white tent.
"All set" Joslyn exclaimed before I even had a chance to respond.
"Great! David let go. Let's get a couple of dry shots before we get you in the water ok?"
"Sounds fine."
"You ok man?"
"Yeah...let's just get this done."
The whole shoot was taking way more time than it should have. Anthony was becoming frustrated at having to keep repeating his instructions and not getting the exact shot he wanted due to my distraction. I couldn't focus....a million and one thoughts kept racing through my mind and an unbelievable pace.
"Let's take 5!" Anthony shouted out of frustration. "David come here. What's going on man? This is not like you at all."
I rubbed my hands over my face then through my hair. "I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind. I can't clear my head to focus. I'm sorry just give me a minute to collect myself."
"Sure thing. Take your time."
I looked out over the water taking it all in. The sun would be setting soon. At what should have been only a couple hours of a shoot turned into an all day event. I felt horrible at wasting everyone's time.
I turned around and stood there watching Joslyn. She had loosened up a little as she now carried on with a few of the staff members. It felt so good to hear her laugh....an actual real laugh.

"Joslyn eh?" Anthony interpreted my thoughts.
"Where did you even come from?"
 He just laughed at my question.
"Can't say I blame you man but what about Mollie?"
"What about her?"
"Interesting....."
We stood in what seemed like an understanding silence before he spoke up.
"I have an idea...I'll be right back."
"What are you doing?"
"Don't worry about it. It will be great! Just you see."
Rolling my eyes I watched him walked up to the tents before turning back around to the water.

"Ok. Let's do this." I heard Anthony say followed my Joslyn' s voice.
"No. I don't think this is a good idea at all Anthony."
"Come on doll. It will be perfect. Just one or two shots and that's it I promise."
Turning around to see what they were arguing about there stood Anthony with a shit eating grin next to Joslyn in a barely there white bikini.
"What in the hell is this?" I exclaimed
Joslyn crossed her arms over her chest only making the barely there top disappear with nothing but abundance of cleavage showing making my body respond to the wonderful sight.
"Anthony seems to want me in the shot with you. David you know this is not a good idea. I can't do this."
I looked over at Anthony who only shrugged his shoulders in response.
"I don't understand?" I said in confusion.
"Look I just want to try something ok? Just a couple of shots of you two together that's all."
I looked at Joslyn then back to Anthony.
"Joss?"
"Fine....just a couple shots that's it."
"Ok great! Let's get you both in the water about knee deep or so and go from there."
"Oh my gosh!!! It's so cold!" she squealed as she entered the water.
Once I reached knee deep the water rested well above mid thigh to Joss causing my eyes to wonder places they shouldn't. Shaking the thoughts quickly from my head I focused on Anthony and his instructions. Hold her  this way hold her that way.....do this....ok do that.... 
"Ok now...that was great you guys...now come up to the shoreline. I want you Joslyn to lay down and David will lean over you as the water washes up over you both and let's get a couple like that ok?" Anthony suggested.
"David....My suit is white..." Joslyn whispered.
"Yeah?" not really following where she was going with it.
"If it gets wet...they might can see through it."
"Oh."
"Yeah"
Looking the suit over I looked back at her.
"I think it will be ok. I think it's thick enough nothing will show. If it does I'll stop the shoot and get you covered. Promise." I smiled.
"Ok. Thanks."
After a few shots Anthony called out "Ok now switch places. Let's have you David in the sand and Joss on top."
With some maneuvering we managed to get it right.
Laying back in the sand as the water washed up over us looking up at Joslyn and the sun was beginning to set took my breath away. Her long damp hair blew wildly in the breeze and she looked down at me with the biggest smile on her face from laughing at Anthony. My eyes caught hers and my world suddenly shifted. Chills ran rampant over my body as she could see through to my soul. Something in that moment clicked and it hit me like a hard cheap shot to the gut. Everything and everyone else faded away. It was just me and her laying there alone. I know she felt it as well because her smile slowly faded from her face and into more of a look of desire and want.
"David" she whispered waking my body from beneath her.
I swallowed hard reaching my hand up to cup her face grazing her cheek with my thumb as she leaned into my touch. Looking deep into her eyes the suffocation was sitting in. Closing my eyes I tried to even out my breathing by counting to 10 slowly.....but it wasn't working. I had to get out. Shoving up from the sand knocking Joslyn back I quickly made my way back to our set up grabbing a towel and my shorts leaving the set.  In the back of the car I white knuckled the edges of the seat slowly breathing in and out.  She has no idea how badly I wish I could giver her her every desire but I can't and it's killing me.
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"Wow." was all Anthony managed to say.
"What?" I asked in complete confusion as to what just happened.  I saw it....isn't that what he wanted? For me to feel it to only for him to run?
"That was pure magic!"
"Huh?"
"These shots are amazing Joslyn!"
"Anthony! What happened with him?"
"If these pictures are any indication....i'd say he is scared shitless."
"I don't understand...."
"Come look at this." He held his camera up. Getting up from the spot he left me in the sand I made my way over next to Anthony to take a look.
He was right. It was staring me in my face. That photo said it all. So why did he run?