Her Soft Blue Eyes (Grey's Anatomy)

Chapter 41: Facing Fears

Hey guys!! The title and the sad picture should give you some warning. Probably one of my most angst filled chapter. The past two updates should've also given you a slight hint as to what might happen. You might need tissues (jk I'm not that good of a writer😂) but seriously Mer faces her demons with Derek. And Derek let's his dreaminess get in the way...
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(two days after previous chapter)

"Hi" the blond shyly whispered while clutching her slightly ripped leather purse. It took all her courage to come and talk. She was avoiding with dealing with the topic, but now she had to face her fears.

"Oh Hey" the midnight haired doctor replied rather sadly to the petite frame that belonged to he love of his life.

"Can we talk? Somewhere private?" The novice resident talked to her superior.

"Talk? Like actually TALK?" The very fit and muscular guy asked while throwing on his black leather jacket. Finally, she had warmed up to the idea of talking.

"Yeah, but not Joes, let's go to..." The girl started to speak but stopped to think about a secret private place.

"I know somewhere we can go, it's very secluded and it's near the hospital" The man eagerly suggested, maybe things would go his way. His place was a drive up the town where a small pond and trees shaded the area.

"No, let's just sit at the bench towards the back of the hospital" The girl quickly dismissed the idea.

Alone. With him. Could lead to very dangerous things.

The once misty sea-blue and seaweed green eyes were now a sharp shade of emerald green, showing the scared feeling she was experiencing. This did not go unnoticed by the man she was conversing with. Only if the girl knew that her own eyes were betraying her.

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As they made their way toward the benches located at the back of the hospital, Meredith held onto Derek's broad shoulder gently as Derek snaked his arm around Mer's back. He didn't know what to think of this, one minute she looked like she was crying and the next minute she looked like a fun loving Meredith he knew and loved. Loved. He had to tell her today before things got out of hand. But right now the only thing he was going to do was enjoy walking besides Meredith and inhaling her soft lavender smell.

Meredith didn't even know why she was holding onto Derek. Maybe because she felt safe and cared for in his arms or maybe because she knew she would never get to touch Derek like this again. She also knew she was creating false hope for him by letting him touch her affectionately but right now walking beside him felt completely normal.

They approached the slightly wet bench near the hospital.

"It looks like the rain still hasn't dried up" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah" Derek breathed. "Mer I gotta tell you something"

"Oh, I do too, but you can go first" She tried to be polite. What she had to say was urgent but she would have to let Derek have some calamity.

"I love you" He finally stated.

Meredith prepared herself for the things he might say but love was not one of them. LOVE! Did she even hear him right? Love? Derek was crazy, no sane human being could love her. Her mother, father and Connor all were reminders of how incapable of love, she was.

"Say something, your scaring me" Derek sighed, the second those words left his lips he knew Mer would run. But right now she was as pale as paper and she was slightly flushed.