Little Lynch

Maybe You're Right

A/N How long has it been?! Probably only like a week but it feels like forever since I updated. Snow day today, so that's cool.

I slumped into the couch as I heard the crying come to a halt. Riker walked back in a few minutes later and sat next to me.

"They're tiring, huh?" he asked. I nodded. "You sure you're okay? You just... you just don't seem yourself lately."

"I'm fine. Don't wear yourself out over me. I'm just tired, that's all."

"Okay, whatever you say." But really, I was dying on the inside. I couldn't stop thinking about the promise I had made to myself at the airport. I needed to leave. How? The last time I had ended up in hospital.

I knew there was something else and the two sides of my brain were going at it.

"You should kill yourself, it'll lift a lot off your chest and everyone else's, too."

"No! Your family loves you and they would never be able to let go. Do you really want to put them through that?"

"You already have! They don't love you! No one does! Who could love an annoying little girl like you? Nobody, that's who. If anything, they would be happy to see you leave, not sad!" The side telling me to die seemed to have more to back it up. But Riker did seem to love me! It was probably just an act for his career. Think about it, wouldn't more people think he was cute if he took care of a little girl? If he abused her, wouldn't you think he would be hated?

"Hello? Zanni, you alright?" Riker asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. What'd you say?"

"You know, something's up with you. You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm always here for you." I nodded. "Now, do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm not that hungry," I told him.

"Rosannah, I'm really worried about you. Please talk to me." I stood up and walked over to him, sitting right next to him. "What's up?"

"I-I..." You searched for the right words before a tear escaped. "I wish things would go back to the way they were, ya know, just me and Ry and Mom and Dad. No fans, and we'd just sit around playing video games all day. We were best friends and we were equal. Now you guys are better than me and there is just too much. I feel like I'm a burden to you, like everyone secretly wishes I wasn't here."

"Did we do something to make you feel that way? Are we, like, ignoring you or pushing you around too much?"

"No, not really. It's kind of like a sixth sense, I don't know how else to explain it. I feel it, I feel like soon, everyone will leave me. Like, I can't get attached to things because they'll leave. And I don't know why. I know how many other people have it so much worse than me and I feel so guilty when I think about why I'm scared and sad."

"You don't need to feel guilty. If everyone says that someone has it worse, it'll eventually be narrowed down to one person who has it the worst and they are not the only person allowed to feel bad! I know you're sad and I understand why. I just wish you had come to us sooner, before it came to this. I think you need help."

"That's why I'm talking to you, Rik. You can help me."

"No, Zee. I mean, like, professional help by someone who understands it more than I do."

"No. I don't need help like that. It's not that bad, jut a couple bad days. Okay?"

"And loads of panic attacks and you ran away!" And I was just thinking about dying, about killing myself  I thought. Maybe I did need help.

"Maybe you're right, but you'll be with me, right?"

"You won't go through this alone, I promise."

"Okay," I muttered, making up my mind.

A/N

I'm writing a new book called R5 BSMs if you wanna read, like this but without a story line bc I'm lazy. Comment preferences on it, whatever. Thanks for reading,

~Zanni