Green Eyed Daydream #Wattys2016

Chapter 48

Tyler's POV

It's Sunday night, and I feel like I am losing my damn mind. Four days. Four fucking days of radio silence from Carrie, and I am feeling worse than a heroin addict in rehab. If she'd only send me one text, I could live on that for a week, a month even...but nothing? At this point I'd settle for a single damn emoji to ease my pain...anything at all that is a sign that she hasn't given up on me. On us.

The first day, I buried myself in work in hopes of distracting myself, but I only ended up cussing out the entire kitchen staff and cancelling all business meetings. Second day, I spent hours at the gym, and even confided some of my troubles to Mike, but even his good humor and support couldn't allay my growing anxiety. By day three, I was basically pacing my bedroom with the phone in my hand, going over all the reasons why giving Carrie her space and respecting her need for time and distance is more important that my selfish need for assurance. But damn it, do I need it...badly...I need to hear her say that she still loves me, that we still can be together. And most of all, I need to hear her say that she forgives me.

I sit on my kitchen counter, cradling a tumbler of whiskey. I can't even recall how many times I've refilled it tonight. Drowning my sorrows in alcohol is pretty fucking pathetic, but it seems I've run out of coping strategies. Just going to numb my senses with drink, and sleep it off. If she doesn't reach out to me by tomorrow morning, I don't give a damn, I'm not just calling her...I'm going over to her damn house.

I hop off the counter, and nearly lose my balance...I guess I'm a lot more drunk that I suspected. I sit on the couch in the living room, and turn on the TV, browsing through the new releases. Everything looks like shit. I need something to keep myself busy, otherwise I'll go insane. I decide to check out "The Office" series, since Carrie always goes on about how funny it is. I've never seen it, but now is as good a time as any....maybe she's watching it too, and that is what made me think of it...because we're connected like that, and even when we're apart, we still do the same shit. Woah...I am really fucking drunk. Either that, or I have actually gone completely fucking mental...

I hear the ding of my doorbell, followed by a tentative knock, and I practically leap from the couch running for the door. I knew she'd come. I knew she couldn't keep away from me...

I swing open the door. And for a second I think I'm hallucinating.

"Hey there..." she says, and I feel nausea rush through me.

Standing in front of me is fucking Nicole.

"The fuck are you doing here?" I slur, squinting at her.

"Well, you did say we'd talk this weekend, and I was in town, so...I just got too impatient waiting by the phone...."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you," I say snarkily.

"Come on, Ty...are you seriously not going to let me in?" she asks, coming up so close to me that I can smell her overly sweet perfume. The thought of actually slamming the door in her face goes through my mind, but then I think better of it. I have to remember my plan. Step one: cut this crazy bitch loose.

I move aside, and she slinks past me, and enters my apartment.

"God, I've missed this view," she says, shrugging off her jacket, and walking over to the terrace windows.

I go into the kitchen and pour the remainder of the whisky into my glass.

"Do you want a drink?" I offer.

"You know what I like," she answers.

I roll my eyes, but force myself to mix cranberry juice with Grey Goose, and pour it into a martini glass for her.

"Here you go," I hand her the drink, and ignore her attempt to clink her glass with mine.

She takes a sip, and gives me a smile that somehow doesn't look familiar any more.

In fact, as I look at Nicole, it's hard to recall even a shred of the connection we'd shared before. It's a strange feeling to see her again. I thought I'd feel more angry, or upset, but I feel utter indifference.

She takes a deep breath, and places her hand on my forearm. "Well...I suppose I should start by telling you that I know I was wrong... I was so totally wrong to do what I did. And I know there is nothing I can do to make you forget it...but I am hoping you can forgive me. Because the truth is, Tyler... I still care for you. Very much...And what I did...it was nothing. It meant nothing to me."

I shrug her hand off of my arm, and take a swig of my drink.

"Is that it, Nicole? Is that what you came here to tell me?"

"I want you back, Ty. I want us back, like before...before it all got ruined."

Okay. Now I am actually starting to feel the anger. "Let's not get ambiguous about what happened here... you fucked another guy, and that's what ruined everything. And to hear you say that it meant nothing to you makes it even worse. How meaningless was our relationship to you that you threw it all away for a bit of 'nothing'?"

Nicole's blue eyes get watery, and she dabs at her mascara smudged lashes with the tips of her fingers. I have to remind myself that she's an actress, and these tears are probably as natural as her bleached blonde hair.

"Look, when I told you I needed to talk to you, I didn't mean to make it sound like there is a shot in hell that you and I are getting back together..." I tell her, and she stares at me, all tears magically dry.

"What do you mean?" she asks, flipping her hair, and crossing her arms across her fake tits.

"I mean, you can keep your apology, and know that I don't give a shit anymore. I am in love with someone else..." I tell her, not caring how cruel it sounds. I need her to understand once and for all that it's fucking over between us.

She bites the inside of her cheek, and stares at me with a dubious expression.

"Really? Who is she?"

"None of your damn business," I tell her, finishing my drink in one gulp.

"Do you love her?" she asks me.

"Yes," I tell her without reservation.

A pained look crosses her features, but she manages a fake smile.

"I'm happy you're happy..." she lies. "So, where is this lucky girl? Why isn't she here with you? And why are you drinking yourself into oblivion?"

I scowl at her, giving her a warning look, but it doesn't deter her.

"Ahh... I see... all is not well in lovers' paradise. I know you too well Tyler...It's not like you to get drunk for no reason. Did you two have a little fight?"

"Like I said, it's none of your business, so shut the fuck up about it," I snarl, feeling my temper on the rise.

"No need to get so touchy...I'm only trying to figure out why after months of ignoring me, suddenly you decided to respond...and tell me that we 'need to talk'....Now I come to find that you and your girlfriend are in the midst of a fight...curious timing, don't you think?"

I am so drunk right now, I can barely stand, let alone follow whatever the fuck Nicole is spouting out. My head is spinning, and I literally feel like I'm going to pass out.

"I think you should go," I tell her, and try to walk to the door, but my feet are staggering. Next thing I feel, is Nicole wrapping her arms around me and propping me up.

"Whoa there...you need to lie down," she says, and walks me to my bedroom.

I don't fight her, even as I feel her push me down on the bed, and start to unbutton my shirt.

"I don't need your help," I say, trying to swat her hands away, but my limbs feel too heavy to control, and my eyes are closing. I'm about to pass the fuck out...

"When I wake up...you better...be long gone..." I mumble...even as I feel the buzzing of my phone in my pocket....I try to reach for it, but then it's suddenly gone, maybe I just imagined it....can't think anymore....I close my eyes...it's lights out Tyler.