Shaking Shoulders // Joshler

Two

Tyler's POV

I wake up dreading the fact I woke up in the first place. If I were to guess, I'd say I got less then two hours of sleep. The overwhelming aroma of bacon invades my nostrils. I get up slowly and walk into my bathroom and take a look at myself wishing I didn't look the way I did.

you're ugly why would Josh even want to be friends with you

I ignore the thoughts before I shower then head to the kitchen.

"I saved a plate for you Tyler." My brother is already eating, eyeing me carefully as if I were some wild animal. The nod of my head is my reply to my dad and he frowns. I'm not even hungry but if I don't eat my brother will make it a big deal. After the incident last year he's always pushing me to eat and take my pills. He's like a second mom but I know he only cares somewhat.

no one cares about you

Ironically he reminds me to take my meds causing my dad to hand me them from the counter. Mom must have told him about them. I take the dreaded pill with the orange juice I have and grab a piece of bacon before Iget up to leave the house. I walk outside without a word and my phone buzzes in my pocket.

From; Josh

*Morning Ty*

I'm surprised he texted me, I kinda figured he would forget about me. I respond asking if he wanted to get coffee. And to my surprise he wanted to.

From; Josh

*Sounds great I'll meet you outside my house and after we grab some coffee we can go to the park :)*

I'm kinda nervous to go hang out with Josh. What if my feelings get the best of me and I try something?

you always do the wrong thing, what you shouldn't do you will

I wish Josh wasn't so damn intriguing, it would make this whole friendship ideal easier. Would he even call it a friendship?

I make it to Josh's house as he steps out. He's wearing a snap-back and his long hair puffs out of the sides. He's so hot and I'm so not. When his eyes meet mine I lose it in my head. I'm too distracted by complimenting him in my head to let the dark voices be audible.

Josh's POV

I walk out and see Tyler. Similar to yesterday's attire he's wearing all black.

"Hey." I smile

"H-hi." He looks down shyly. When I first saw his head pop through that treehouse, I knew there was more to him then what met the eyes. I noticed how awfully sick he looked, he had a pale tint to him along with dark circles underneath his brown eyes.

I pop my lips unsure of what to do because I don't want to set him off so I set my arm on his shoulders hoping to comfort him as we walk. He flinches at first but then relaxes into my shoulder. I feel bad for the guy; he didn't tell me he was depressed but I could tell from the way he acts. When we traded numbers I saw his scars when he handed me his phone and I just wanted to hug him right there.

We walk to the cute cafe in town and I simply get a cappuccino while he shys away talking to the cashier. He gets a black coffee and I find that cool but I'd never do it. It's too bland and tasteless. I pay for both of our coffees and we exit the cafe.

Tyler's POV

As we make our way to the park Josh sips his cappuccino like a little kid would. It's adorable and I'm in awe. I'm still leaning up against him and I'm nervous he might know I'm bisexual. What if he's a homophobe? He's probably just doing this as a friend. I'm just over thinking this. We walk around a big pond before we sit at a bench. I can't help but be scared that he thinks I'm weird or strange.

he already thinks that

Why can't you leave my alone? Just for one day please.

"What's wrong?" Josh brought me out my thoughts and looked at me with concern

"Oh um nothing." I wanted to tell him everything and just spill to him like I never could to anyone else. Therapists would say they knew what I was going through but they don't know me but Josh doesn't either so why am I so comfortable around him?

"You can tell me what's on your mind." More like what's in my mind. He put his hand on my back as an act of comfort and I flinched at his touch.

I wanna tell him everything I really do but I don't know how he'd handle it all.

"A lot has always been on my mind." I hope he'll just accept that and not ask anymore questions.

But he doesn't of course. "I saw your scars." He looked at my free hand lying on my lap and I quickly put it in my pocket. Now he knows I'm a psycho. I looked away from him and bit my cheek in attempts to avoid his look of judgement but instead he turned my chin with his hand and I was met with eyes of empathy.

"Tyler you're amazing I don't want you to feel alone. I'm here for you now and you have to accept that I care." Damnit I want to cry. I want to cry into his shoulder and have him hold me and all my pieces. I went to tell him about the voices, about the things they tell me. I want to tell him everything.

I tried to speak but only a squeak came out.

"You don't have to say anything or defend yourself. Just promise me you're not going to do it again." He looked me deep in the eyes with demand. His brown pools practically spilled into my own and I was at loss for words.

I simply nodded my head because if I say anything I know I'd break down and cry. He could sense that I was ready to cry I guess and he hugged me tight and I was in his armpit. I cried. I cried a lot for different reasons. The most important being the worry of him breaking me more especially after him telling me he cares.

He continued to rub my back until the waterworks seized and we just sat in silence. Comfortable and peaceful silence until he spoke "You wanna go to your place or go see a movie? I don't want our day to start off so bad." He said our day. I looked up at him and we just kinda sat there staring at each other for awhile. I loved his eyes. His  brown irises are too much for me.

I figured he'd be weirded out if I continue staring at him. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "You wanna head to my place?" I decided a movie would be cool for another time in my head.

He smiled at me. "Sure."

Another chapter edited :)