Shaking Shoulders // Joshler

Six

A/n; another chapter I wrote at 3 in the morning

Tyler's POV

I haven't slept longer then three hours in the longest time. I would have thought it was Josh's presence in general but it sure did help that he had me cuddled up next to him. I would guess it's sometime around nine now because I can tell the sun has been out for awhile. I don't know how he's gonna react when he wakes up but it's not like I had my arm around him.

I feel him stir and then I heard him make a strange noise in his sleep and it sends me into all types of emotions. He's so cute and I'm about to lose it. Oh god just stay calm don't wake him up. I wish we weren't spooning, I mean don't get me wrong I love it but I wish I could watch him sleep so badly. Wow I'm weird. He stirs again and I think this time he's going to wake so I pretend as if I'm just waking up too but I just wanna lay here forever and have his heat radiate onto my back.

I flip to look at him as he retracts his arm. "Look who wanted to spoon Jishiwa." I said jokingly poking his cheek. His tired eyes look at me and then he laughs. "What can I say you're like a cuddly bear it just kinda happened.". I'm thankful he didn't take that awkwardly. Like so thankful. He stretched and yawned before rolling over

I can tell he's not a morning person so I let him turn on the tv while we lay under the covers. Every once in awhile he adjusts himself to a comfortable position and his foot or something will touch me. The contact of his skin against mine sent my mind into a frenzy along with the butterflies in my stomach.

We both have sleepovers at each others house everyday for a week. Every second without Josh I feel as if emptiness and loneliness engulfs me. We've only been hanging out so much because Josh is so interested in making music together. He's seen more then half my journal, something I'd trust no one with. He loves almost every page except Oh Ms Believer. I'm unsure why he dislikes it but he said he was jealous of the girl I wrote it for in a joking manner. I laughed. Not because it was a nervous laugh I do out of habit but because I wrote it about my mom when she was defending my dad a few years back. But I figured he'd think I was gay if I did tell him it wasn't for a girl I liked. From my observations I think he's straight and that's kind of upsetting but it's whatever. I'm glad I have him as a friend too. I wouldn't want to lose the only friend I have over my feelings.
"Whatcha thinking about?" My attention shoots up from my lap to his eyes. Oh you know just thinking about the hard battle of loving your best friend while in bed with them. "Mm nothing." I smile. "Well I wanna take you somewhere later today after we mess around downstairs." He grins. "Where?" I ask.
"It's a surprise." He replied poking my cheek.

All day I've been anticipating where he's going to take me, I could barely focus on the piano keys. I love making music with him but this is the only time I don't want to be messing around in his basement. It's almost nine at night and he hasn't even brought it up, we're still making music. Finally after another hour of waiting he gets up and tells me to change into something warm while we head upstairs. He handed me a pair of grey sweatpants because he thinks they'll be warmer then my black jeans and I happily put them on.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked looking at him as we walk up another grassy hill. Josh only smiled at me. God, did that make me weak at the knees. They're probably week from all this walking yeah. I'm lying to myself; I know Josh has such an effect of me. I hate it so much but I also love it. "Well I was thinking we could go to one of my favorite places." Josh answered.

~

"Let's talk about the galaxy."

I looked at Josh bewildered. Is he really into that? Right now we're sitting on a large hill that overlooks a lake.

"The stars we see right now are apart of the universe. What's to talk about Jishiwa?"I ask amused. He looked over at me then leaned up really close. Oh god is he going to kiss me? "There is so much to talk about Tyler. The universe is so vast." He smirked. I knew he wasn't going to kiss me and it upset me a lot but I'll just push the strong feelings of wanting him to kiss me away.

"Oh Josh go on about this oh so vast universe." I joke. "Well for starters the universe is too vast; too extensive; infinite if you will. The universe has so much to hold, give and offer. There's like trillions of galaxies and planets and stuff. We could talk about aliens, like there's anything we can talk about relating to the universe Ty Guy." He backs away from my face and laughs. "Sorry I'm just really into space." He looks at me with a nervous smile. I didn't know Josh was so passionate about that kind of stuff.

"I can tell. What do you think of aliens?" I can't believe we are having this conversation right now. "Well.." he continued. I watched him go on aliens just tuning him out. I was mesmerized by how his lips moved when he talked in addition to how the moon made him look even more beautiful by illuminating the surface of his skin. After he finished his rant on aliens his gaze shifted from the sky to me.

"Hey are you good with advice?" He asks me still looking up. "Yeah sometimes, it depends." I answer. "It doesn't matter anyway, you're my best friend, anything you say I'll do." He looks over at me for a brief second then looks back at the sky and sighs.

"I like someone and I don't think they like me back yanno? So I was thinking I could ask them out and ruin everything of a friendship we have or just totally blow off my feelings." He rubs his face. I can't believe he said that in front of me. I thought he could tell I had strong feelings for him and this feels like a punch in the gut. I feel like crying my eyes out and just hiding in a dark hole right now. The only friends he's told me about are all girls and like four guys so that makes me feel like dying even more.

I try my best not to let my voice be evident that I'm upset "I think you should tell them straight up." I said looking away from him.
"Thanks for being so helpful bro."

"Anytime. Bro."