Shaking Shoulders // Joshler

Nineteen

Josh's POV

While we were exploring the busy streets of London we transitioned to the docks. The chilly breeze made me  shiver but not as much as Tyler's cold stare. He was beyond pissed and it kinda made me feel bad for teasing him like that. Kinda. He needed to remember what my lips felt like on his because if it was similar to what I felt; he would know the longing desire I have for him.

"Guys let's take a picture in front of the water so we look cool." Mark brought me out of my thoughts. "Okay." I reply. Tyler didn't bother saying anything, he never wants to be the one person to  disagree even if he really wanted to say no. Mark asked some random guy to take our picture on the dock. Left to right was Mark, Tyler, and then me. To keep this act of teasing going I pinched Tyler's butt making him jump. If I could see underneath his sunglasses I'd bet his brown eyes were widened in shock.

Mark looked at him weird but got his phone back anyways to look at the picture. We were serious but Tyler had his mouth parted shaping a 'o' with his nostrils flared. He didn't say anything but he waited for us to stop looking at the picture and continue walking.

"I like it send me it." I smiled knowing I was receiving a glare from Tyler through his sunglasses. Mark sent it immediately and I saved it. We continued our walk for about another hour until we turned around. Tyler and I encountered a lot more fans then I expected and the encounters were the only times he talked. While we were walking back he didn't utter a word while Mark and I talked about all the sightseeing we did.

When we got back to the bus and Mark went into his bunk before Tyler pulled me outside.

Tyler's POV

Josh pinched my ass and kissed me in one day. It's not that I didn't enjoy each because that's definitely not the case. I just wish he wouldn't play with my feelings like this. The entire walk back to the bus I was all flustered and mad at the same time. Thank god no one could see my eyes through my sunglasses, I had a permanent scowl.

As soon as Mark went in the bus I pulled Josh back before he could go in behind him. I didn't know what I was thinking but I pulled him by his hoodie collar and kissed him hungrily. Instead of pulling away he deepened the kiss and stuck his tongue in my mouth swirling it around mine. His hands lifted up and intertwined his fingers with my hair. He moaned into my mouth making me realize what we were doing. I pulled away from him suddenly and went in the bus to the bathroom. I didn't bother looking at his facial expression I was too upset with myself.

I began to cry in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I seriously just let myself do that. My cheeks were flushed and when I took off my sunglasses my eyes were glossy with my pupils almost the size of my iris. I rinsed my face with cold water trying to recollect my thoughts. Okay so does Josh really want me back?

probably not

Does he even love me anymore?

probably not

Will he and Debby break up over me?

probably not 

Why would Josh pinch my butt and kiss me after I told him to stop messing with my emotions?

he's messing with you

Well yeah that's Josh, if he doesn't get what he wants he'll be really cruel about it. So wouldn't that mean he wants me? I mean he did tell me he missed our relationship back in the dressing room at our last show, that means something.

he doesn't mean it

Josh means everything he says though.

did he mean it when he said he'd never let you go?

I guess not, you're right.

when am I wrong?

Never. Before Blurryface could continue whispering in my head someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Tyler, you okay?" It was Mike. I quickly rubbed my face and looked at my appearance in the tiny mirror. My eyes were red but my face wasn't. Can I say I was high? No wow that was pointless everyone here knows I don't dank.  I cleared my pointless thoughts and put on my sunglasses to hide my eyes before I opened the door.

"Yeah I'm fine man." I assured him trying my best to put on a fake smile. "Oh alright well we're getting ready for the show so lets get going." I nodded my head "Alright."

~

I was warming up and Josh kept staring at me. I know these are awkward sounds I make but he's used to them and he's staring at me with lust in his eyes. I have never seen Josh so immature and it's come to a point where I avoid even looking at him. He began to bite his lip and I had enough. I shot up from my seat and walked out to the stairs getting ready to go out on stage. Josh came up behind me and I rolled my eyes. Heavy Dirty Soul began and I slowly crept up the stairs preparing myself to run on the stage and Josh followed close behind. Right as I ran on he smacked my ass making me trip I and voice cracked the word 'there'.

I tried my best to keep going on with the concert without stopping and crying. I hated messing up shows and it made me feel awful and as if I did my fans wrong. I was trying to recollect myself and move around like I usually would for our first song but I was frozen still with my eyes bulging out of my head.

I finally got myself together by the middle of the song but the thought of my embarrassment still lingered just beyond the current lyrics I was singing. Once the end of the show came and I thanked our fans, I stormed off the stage as fast as I could. I didn't stay there to meet some fans like I usually would and I went straight outside and met a few fans along the way who couldn't be inside the arena. Of course I politely took pictures, signed stuff, and chatted shortly but I still made it to the bus before Josh.

I instantly went to the back of the bus and began writing down some music.  My emotions were everywhere and this was when I wrote my best. I managed to get a few lyrics down before someone opened the door. In an instant I snapped my head toward the door. It was Mark. "Hey what hap-"

"Please get out and lock the door." I said through gritted teeth. I tried not to raise my voice but I was hoping he'd get the point I needed to  be left alone. He quickly switched the lock and murmured 'sorry' before shutting the door. I turned back to my lyric book and wrote more and more. The bus had been moving for about a half hour when I began coming up with a piano tune. My neck was extremely sore and I decided it was time for me to try and go to bed.

I unlocked the door, quietly flicked off the light and took a step to the bunking area. All the lights were off and I slid into my bunk and covered up trying my best to think of anything besides today's events. My hopes were short lived when someone whispered.

"Tyler?" The voice came from below me and I knew it was Josh. I sighed. "What?" He knows I'm up so there's no point in acting as if I was asleep. "I'm sorry." he said. I couldn't help but imagine him laying there with his arms behind his head looking up at the bottom of my bunk. "Whatever Josh." I turned on my side and let my eyes stare at the back of my head, I suppose this was my cruel joke of dreams from now.