Shaking Shoulders // Joshler

Sixteen

Tyler's POV

The next two years I had left of school were considerably enjoyable. Josh and I went back and fourth to visit each other whenever we had the chance and after we both graduated things only got better. I prospered a lot with basketball and even went to college because of it. I moved back to Ohio and lived in my father's house. That was a few years ago. Josh and I formed a band with two good friends of mine from college. Some things came up and it left just me and Josh in the band. He bought me a ukulele and I got back into that.

We actually made it. I would have never thought we would be where we are now but here I am in Japan looking back into the depths of my mind. Our friends also got involved into the music business and Mark was still with us as a video director and tours with us to take pictures and film.

Josh and I have been so successful and it's been so fun playing music with the one I love however being in the band has changed a lot making me remember our first real fight about two years ago.

Flashback

"Are you embarrassed of me or something?" Josh yelled at me standing in the hotel room. We were in Arizona and his arms were crossing his chest ."Well?" I could tell he was getting angrier by the second and it honestly scared me, I've never seen him so upset.

"No, I'm not embarrassed of you I love you for fucks sake." I rubbed my face in distress. "I'm just trying to look out for us! We're a band, a sort of well known one by now! Do you really think the media would accept the fact we are gay? People are cruel and not accepting I'm trying to protect you." I yell at him. I leaned my hands on my knees as he only got angrier and his face turned crimson.

"You are not protecting me from anything, Tyler! You know I don't care what people think! You're just being selfish and a big coward!" He spat.

"No, I'm not just let things be the way they are now; we're fine cuddling behind the scenes." I tried desperately to ease him with my calm voice but he was remaining enraged.

"Why do you even keep me when you're not willing to show we're together?" He fired back.

"Then leave Josh!" I felt my throat go sore from yelling so and Josh's eyes narrowed at me.

"Fine." His voice lowered and he turned his heel and walked out of the hotel room.

End of flashback

He came back soon after because we had a show to play and we said our sorrys and continued our coupley activities behind the scenes out of the public eye. However, shortly after he decided to take my heart and crumble it in his fist when he said we shouldn't even act like we're a couple ever. He acts as if it never happened and it's been really hard to pretend like we are even friends.

Currently I sat staring at Josh and Debby laughing on the couch across from me. I envy the way his arm was thrown over her. I miss the way Josh and I used to be, we used to do that. I should just leave this small get together and walk the busy streets of whatever city we were in of Japan. I miss the touch of his fingertips grazing my skin. I miss it when he would hold me at night and when he would listen to every word that ever left my mouth. Now I know where I stand silent.

I got up from the couch across from his while Jenna tried asking where I was going but I continued to walk out the door as Mark stared at me strange. In fear of someone following me I began to run. I ran until I found a park. I went in the park and sat down on a bench. I didn't know what else to do besides cry into my hands as my head was parallel to the ground.

I looked up when I felt someone's hand rub my back. I looked over hoping to see Josh but it was Mark. I wiped my tears and he only sighed. He was quiet for a few minutes just rubbing my back waiting for me to calm down.

"Tyler, I know it's hard for you watching them. I understand but you can't run away from your problems." his concerning voice brought me comfort and I stopped sobbing.

"Do you really understand? Do you have to watch the person you love most in this world love someone else?" my voice cracked but I was too upset to care.

"No Tyler but I'm here for you, I know why you are upset and I just wanna comfort you somehow." he looked over at me and half smiled.

"You're a great guy and you have a concert tomorrow, you can't be upset you have people to please." He ruffled my hair and I smiled.

"Yeah you're right." We got up from the bench and he hugged me. Thank god I have someone like Mark to be with me during our whole tour. Lucky me Debby won't be here to taunt me anymore since she and Jenna are leaving tomorrow. Jenna knows all about Josh and I's past and she was more then accepting however I don't think Debby knows about Josh and I.

Jenna and I never do anything intimate because she knows I don't want to. We only kiss for the camera and that is the only reason why she has pretended to be with me, for the media.

Mark and I made it back to the hotel room and Debby and Jenna were together sitting on one of the couches. Jen got up, ran to me, and hugged me. "Oh Ty I was so worried about you!"

Moments later the door opened and Josh came in. His breath was ragged and heavy. Just as he stepped in Jenna kissed my cheek. "I'm glad you're okay don't scare me like that." She pulled away and I looked over at Josh and Mark while she went back to Debby. Josh had his fists clenched and was still breathing heavily.

"Ty why'd you leave anyway?" She distracted me from Josh by calling from the couch.

"I needed some air." I replied simply looking over at Mark. He sipped his soda and walked over to the second couch in the living area of the hotel and turned on the TV.

"And where were you?" I asked Josh. He unclenched his fists "I was out looking for you." He walked past me and went over to the bed and took off his shirt and pants. God I wished hotel rooms would section off the beds from everywhere else. He climbed in the bed in his boxers and Debby soon joined making me scowl. I can't wait till she's gone tomorrow morning. Jenna and I went to bed soon after and I did not sleep because all I saw before I went to bed was Josh's arm around Debby.

he doesn't love you anymore

I know Blurryface.