Shaking Shoulders // Joshler

Twenty

Tyler's POV

I woke up sad at the fact I even opened my eyes. Today we don't have any shows and I'm unbothered by that because I could lay here all day. Why do I always have something to think about? Why can't I just be free from my twisted mind and all this drama?

I just grabbed my phone not feeling the need to crawl out of my bunk. There's a chance I might see Josh and I just can't bare to look at him after the events of the past few days. Then again it was me who pulled him in for a kiss after we went sight seeing. I'm so dumb, what was I thinking? He got what he wanted; Josh made me realize I was an idiot. Yes I am very aware that I shouldn't have let our relationship be a secret however it was him who refused to see eye to eye. People are cruel nowadays and he knows how sensitive I am with criticism especially when it comes to the music industry. I just want to be with Josh again and feel loved. But all I feel is hollowness and the throbbing of my head.

Josh's POV

"Whatever Josh." He said hostile. I just apologized to Tyler and that's how he replies. It makes me feel like shit especially when I never apologize for something stupid. We wouldn't be in this mess if he wasn't so embarrassed to be with me.

I barely slept after last night when Tyler didn't except my apology. It also made me realize how long he stays awake for. He tossed and turned for hours and then he finally fell asleep about two hours before we'd all wake up. Yes I understand I shouldn't be teasing him the way I have been but talking to him won't help either. He'll just say more about the media as an excuse. He knows for a fact that all of our fans are so excepting and even some are having issues similar to ours. I wish people weren't so mean to each other and everyone could accept each other's choices. If it was that way I would be in the bunk above mine with Tyler.

He's been moving a lot so I'm guessing he just woke up. I opened my curtain a little to see it was daylight. I wonder if he'd be okay with me just laying with him and talking to him. Maybe even combing his hair with my fingers and kissing him. Well he probably wouldn't be okay with that plus I don't have the balls to face him.

I waited a few more minutes contemplating whether or not to get up. Just when I decided I'd stay in bed Mark opened my curtain abruptly and pulled me out. I hit the floor with a thud and a groan. "Guess what!" He said excitedly.

"You just pulled me out of bed against my will." I reply annoyed and rubbed the back of my head. "Well yeah I did that but something more important has happened. Pete, Patrick, Dallon, and Brendon are almost here!" I shot up in response and looked at him with an ecstatic smile. Maybe being reunited with them will remind Tyler of better times.

~

"One. Two. Three!" Dallon yelled. We were all doing shots at the moment and hanging out in the living area of the bus. Tyler has of course kept his distance from me and he's barely touched any alcohol but I of course was buzzed. Mark kept talking about red bull but I was more intrigued by how close Pete was to Tyler on the couch. They're laughing with each other and I clench the drink in my hand. Brendon and Dallon were kissing and it made me even more pissed. Tyler and I used to be like that. My gaze shifted back to Tyler and he put his hand on Pete's leg while laughing. I downed the rest of my drink and focused on Mark trying to block out Tyler behind him. It worked for a few minutes until I briefly glanced over there. Pete had his face closer to Tyler then a normal friend would. I shot up from my seat and stomped over to them. I swatted the cup in Tyler's hand onto the floor. He looked up at me confused. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled knowing everyone would be staring at me as if I were crazy.

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked calmly. I laughed hysterically, not on purpose of course I was pretty drunk right now but I could still somewhat think correctly. I thought it was pretty damn funny he asked me what I meant because he knew exactly what he was doing. His face still held its's composed posture.

"Don't play dumb with me Ty." I slurred. "You and buddy buddy Pete right here are waaayy too close." His features turned into a scowl.

"What does it matter to you anyways." He growled. I've seen Tyler mad before but his face was turning red and it made me kinda scared but not enough to stop talking.

"What does it matter to me? Are you fucking kidding me? You know very well it matters to me!" I lowered my voice "I love you." He stood up from his seat and he had his fists balled by his sides.

"Bullshit. If you loved me you wouldn't have left me for Debby." He spat. Why was he saying that if he knew I didn't even like Debby?

"I wouldn't have to do that if you weren't embarrassed to be seen with me. You're scared to be gay Tyler and that's fucked up." I looked down at my feet and hiccuped.

"Wow Tyler." Brendon said.
I looked over at Brendon shaking his head then back up to be met with Tyler's eyes. They were unreadable and I began to back away. "Shut the hell up! I did what was good for us and you're not fucking helping right now!" His voice got even louder and I was ready to just give up on him. "Tyler I lov-" before I could say I loved him his fist connected with the side of my jaw and next my head hit the ground. The lights above me blurred and I slowly stumbled back up. The guys had Tyler pinned down so he wouldn't fire again. I felt my face and realized what just happened. I felt tears begin to form and I ran over to the music room in the bus and locked myself in. I cried into my knees while I heard yelling coming from the other end of the bus.

May ??, 2016; I didn't feel like fixing half of the chapter so whoopsies