Shirtsleeves

Chapt. 19

Taylor Chapter.

Taylor pulls at her button up shirt and adjusts her blazer as she quickly makes her way inside the local hospital, knowing she's running fairly late. She practically speed walks inside but it's hard in dress clothes, finally making it inside the elevator and frantically pushing the basement button.

The doors to the elevator close and she's alone for a moment. "Looks so great that a successful lawyer is late." She huffs about herself as she reapplies some red lipstick and shoves it back to her purse. Just in time for the doors to open again. She takes a deep breath and steps out, heels clicking quickly on the hospital floors as she takes a slight left and arrives at a singular door.

"MENTAL HEALTH OFFICES."

Sighing deeply she catches her breath, knowing this was the beginning of it all. She opens the door, feeling embarrassed that it seemed too loud, even though no one was even around. She peers around the waiting room that's lined with empty chairs, a plain coffee table is covered in cheap magazines. But a red head is sitting at a desk behind thick glass and she shoots Taylor a small smile and opens the glass window.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

Taylor gulps and smiles back, she's feeling her anxiety kick in despite the fact that she already took her meds and her palms are sweaty. "Hi yeah I'm Taylor, I'm barley making it but I have an appointment today."

"Last name?" The receptionist asks as she begins typing away.

"Swift."

It takes a moment but the lady wheels to the side, grabbing a large pack of papers and sliding them into a clipboard. She types one more thing and hands Taylor the clipboard, instructing her to fill those out to be best of her abilities and that her appointment will start when she's ready. She offers a small nod and quickly turns away and heads to one of the lobby chairs. Taylor sets aside her purse and takes a few breaths, finally looking down and beginning the paperwork she was just handed.

Suddenly she's more overwhelmed than she could even imagine. The papers were almost like a self diagnosis. She would have to do true and false, circling symptoms she's noticed and fill out an "emotions paper." The last packet being one about therapy itself, what she'd like to accomplish here, why she's here and how many visits she thinks she could need. To which she laughs, because although she wants to only circle for one visit she knows that's unrealistic. Therapy would probably be a factor in her life for a long while.

"I experience troubles sleeping, that's true. Can't contain personal relationships, well maybe but mostly false. Okay next one- exhaustion or no sleep, rage, unexplained anger, extreme lack of motivation, all circled. Jesus this packet kind of makes me look horrible when it's all on paper.." Taylor thinks to herself as she quickly goes through the different papers on the clipboard. Ten minutes pass by and she's suddenly feeling worse about being here. Fortunately she only has one more question to fill out; her three "safe" people. The people she can go to for anything.

"Obviously Austin, and I can group my parents into one. But the last one.. I mean I want to put Karlie but is that fair? I can go to her now because she knows everything but before.. No Taylor stop, stop thinking about the past. Things have changed, I'm putting down Karlie." She struggles with this decision, she knows it shouldn't even be a second thought yet it was. But was it because of her current nervousness or past experience? And why wouldn't her brain just stop remembering all of that? Finally she's able to bring the clipboard back to the receptionist and sits down in the lobby again.

As she waits to meet the person who is supposed to cure her, Taylor pulls out her phone and skims through some emails. Just as she's about to put her phone away however, she receives a text.