Shirtsleeves

Epilogue.

Thirteen years later.

Gravel from the road crunches and pops below the tires of the car. There is no music, no sounds or talking to be heard all around. Just the crunches, and pops below the tires of the car.

Karlie shakes uneasily as she glances at the two petite flower bouquets beside her in the empty passenger seat. She sighs heavily as she turns, taking a left onto that back road she's forever haunted by.

When she reaches the opened gates, sunlight drenches through the many trees on the outskirts of the opened field. The sun is bright and weighing a silent burden on her shoulders, as she drives through the gates and straight down the short path that felt like a lifetime to drive through.

Quietly, she parks the car and turns the keys. Holding them in her nervous lap, she shakes and breathes in for a moment. Before finally opening the drivers side door, taking the flowers with her.

Sunlight engulfs her, as if it's warming her body in a hug. As the brunette walks the rest of the way down the path and to the familiar place she's been visiting these past five years.

She takes a seat in the short, vibrant green grass. Crossing her legs and staring for the moment, taking it all in.

"Hey baby." She says tentatively as she reaches up and traces the letters in front of her gently with her fingers.

Almost immediately, as if there was a response, the still day brings on a cool breeze. It only lasts a few seconds but it wraps itself around the brunette, sending a familiar shiver down her spine. Because she knows what it really means.

"Yeah, I knew you'd be here." She laughs lightly as she reaches on both sides of the headstone and replaces the old flowers with new ones. "There you go, that looks a lot better." She states as she rubs her hands together slightly.

Silence passes more as Karlie takes in the scene around her. Like she has every time she's come here these past five years. Nothing really changes, sometimes there's a new headstone yet most of the time, it's the same.

Her green eyes trace the letters once more as her fingers mindlessly do the same. It's a weird routine she's come to gather ever since she first started coming here. She'll bring new flowers, sit down and trace the engraved name for a while before finally talking. But today was different. Every year was different, because despite what she had been told and how she struggled so many years before, time has begun to heal the scars left behind.

The emotional bruising would never go away.

Tears form in her emerald eyes as she tries to gather the right words to say. This was the hardest part, every damn time. What can you say that makes the healing better? What do you say to someone, who you used to tell everyone to, but they're no longer here? How can you have a conversation with someone who likely sees everything, and you can't hear them respond?

"It's been five years," She begins lamely as tears casually begin to burn and roll down her cheeks. "I have had the misfortune, of living without you for exactly 1,825 days. Can you imagine?" She asks in a shaky voice, almost instantly receiving another chill down her spine. "I know, I know you can. Just let me try." She responds, taking a breath and then beginning again.

"I don't think I've ever found light like the light that I found in you. To say that I miss you would be saying the least form of everything that I've ever felt these past five years now without you. I often think about what our life could've been like if you stayed. Yet I think I realize that things would've been different and our lives always change. I wouldn't change what we had. I won't ever experience love like I did with you every day for the lifetime that I knew you, that was rare. There's times where I find myself being the strongest that I could ever be in living this life the way that I am because of every influence in everything you held over me, but then there's also times where the grief falls in like ocean waves and I know that I never want to get stuck or lost in the way that I loved you. I need to thank you for everything that you ever gave me, without you I wouldn't know who I am, I would never know what true support, dedication, most of all what true love really is..."