Heart

Chapter 27

― Chapter 27 ―

― Dair ―

We sat on the edge of the bed; I had my hands in my lap, occasionally making eye contact with him as he sat close to me, his body language evidently showing that his complete attention was on me.

His even breathing could be felt on the side of my neck as his chest brushed against my arm. 

“I’m sorry for being so quiet...I’m just nervous.”  I laughed breathily, shifting my eyes from him to the floor.

He smiled.  “It’s alright, I understand.  But you don’t need to be nervous around me.”  He reached up and tenderly brought my hair behind my shoulder.

I inhaled sharply as his finger skimmed a line down my neck; my neck has always been sensitive and full of sweet spots, it was easy to spark a reaction out of me from there.

Harry was still on my mind and I was starting to get angry.  Considering the circumstances, thoughts of Harry that once made my heart flutter and made me smile were now causing me pain and sadness.

I grabbed this man’s face and crashed my lips to his, catching him by surprise but he quickly kissed me back.  My hands slid behind his head to grip his hair as his hands groped me.

He slipped the straps of my sequin blue dress off and I didn’t object.  He pulled away to swiftly pull his shirt up over his head and tugged me into him again.

His lips showered my neck, shoulders, and collarbones with firm kisses earning a few moans and gasped breaths out of me.  I felt his fingers fumble with the zipper on the side of my dress, unzipping it and pulling the dress down to reveal my light blue lace bra.

“You’re so beautiful, Dair.”  He whispered in my ear, it felt like he meant it but it was like it didn’t mean anything to me. 

When you like or love someone, hearing them say these things to you makes you feel special, like what they’re saying is true no matter how insecure you are, but with this man even though I knew he meant it, they were just empty words to me.

I turned my head and rested it against his shoulder as I grimaced.  I couldn’t ignore the amount of guilt I felt right now, but at the same time a small part of me wanted to keep going, I didn’t want to hurt anymore.  Harry left me and he wasn’t coming back, so I shouldn’t feel guilty about this.  I was moving on…so why did I feel like this wasn’t right?

“I can’t do this.”  I breathed, gripping his arms to pull away from him.

“Come on, Dair.  It’s okay to be nervous.”  His strong arms held me tight preventing me from pulling away.

“It’s not nervousness I’m feeling.  This isn’t right, I shouldn’t be doing this.”

He pulled back and stared into my eyes as he frowned.

“I’m sorry.”  I said sadly.

“It’s okay if you still love that guy, that’s why I want to make you feel better, help you forget about him.  This night doesn’t have to mean anything.”  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my jawline and slowly worked his way down.  “We can just have fun.”

“I can’t.”  I whispered as I lightly pushed him back and stood up from the bed.

Quickly fixing my dress, I started towards the door, stopping in the doorway to turn and look at him.  “I’m so sorry.”

I rushed downstairs to the dance floor, scanning all over the place before my eyes finally found Faye.

“Faye, can we please go home?”  I begged once I caught up to her.

She was dancing with her back to me.  “Dair, you’re not going home to drown your sorrows in bed.” 

“Faye, please!”  I cried.

She suddenly stopped and turned to look at me.  “Babe, what happened?”

She cupped my face, looking at me worriedly; tears were streaming down my face now.

“Can we please just go?”  I pleaded.

She nodded in understanding.  “Okay, babe.”

Faye draped an arm protectively over my shoulders and walked me out of the club.

***

“You almost did WHAT?!”  Faye shouted, nearly swerving off the road.

“I’d rather not repeat it.”  I murmured.

“Dair, when I said to move on I didn’t mean have sex with the next guy you see!”

“I don’t know what came over me.”  I shook my head in shame.  “I just wanted Harry to get out of my head but I didn’t want to sleep with that guy I really didn’t.” 

If it had been Harry though, I would have been much more lenient but I at least knew Harry, a lot better than I knew the guy at the club.

“It’s my fault.  Taking you to a club was a bad idea.  I should have just got you drunk or something.”

I faintly smiled at her comment.  “It’s not your fault, Faye.  You didn’t force me into that room with him.”

“How far into it were you before you put a stop to it?”  Faye asked curiously.

I bit my lip.  “My dress was halfway down…I told him I couldn’t do it and he tried to encourage me that we could just do this for one night and it didn’t have to mean anything but I just couldn’t do it.  He was a random guy for one thing, and I couldn’t do that to Harry.  I know he may not come back but I can’t do that to him and I don’t want anyone else but him right now.”

Faye sighed deeply.  “You just need to take things slow and when you’re ready to move on, you will.”

I nodded and turned to look out the window.  I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to move on from Harry.  He made me feel in a way that no one else ever has.  He’s made me happier than anyone ever could and it was just everything about him, even when he did things that made me mad, he was perfect and amazing.  I never knew a person could be so intriguing and beautiful and flawless in every way until I met him.

***

My eyes slowly opened.  I was sleeping lightly so the sound registered but it wasn’t loud enough for me to determine what it was.

I flipped up the covers and swung my feet off the bed.  I made my way out of my room, quickly checking on Faye who was sleeping soundly in her room, and continued down the hall.

Looking around with half-lidded eyes, I couldn’t figure out where the sound had come from.  Maybe I imagined it.

I turned to head back to bed when the sound occurred again.  It was a soft knock.

Turning towards the front door, I unlocked it and placed my hand on the doorknob.  I stood there for a moment, wondering who could be knocking on our door at this time and if I should open it or not.

The knock sounded again, just a touch louder, as if the person could tell I was standing right on the other side of it.

I slowly pulled the door open and I had to rub the sleep out of my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

“Harry?”