oh dear! more of sam's rants are here

insecurity

inspired by my lovely friend nottherealsatan who i love very dearly and such. this could possibly trigger you, so please, stay safe. trigger warnings - self harm & sad themes. this won't be negative, but positive !

my biggest insecurity is my scars.

to me, it's a constant reminder that i failed.

i gave in to the demons in my head.

i made the people around me sad.

and i was sad too.

when i look at my wrist and see the very few actual scars i have, it makes me want to cry, because i could've prevented all of this. i could've stopped myself, or taken toxic people out of my life. i could've flushed my blades. but i didn't. and i regret that everyday.

and i'm reminded of this every time someone makes a suicide joke or an emo joke or make some stupid comment like "what, do you cut or something?" because i was like that. i've gotten so much better. because of certain things and people, i'm so much happier now than i was then. last year, i felt my life was a living hell. this year, i feel better than ever and wish it would never end.

if you do self harm, people say you're weak. try and look me in the eye and tell me i'm weak. if you do, i'll prove you wrong.

to anyone who self harms, i love you so much. you are strong, no matter what anyone says. if you're strong enough to still be alive, it doesn't matter what marks lie on your skin. i believe in you. i promise you, i do. i know you can live to see another day. and just think - someday, the fresh wounds on your skin now will be nothing but proof that you survived in the future.