oh dear! more of sam's rants are here

3, phan

requester ; otaku_heichou

prompt ; things you said too quietly

ship ; phan (dan x phil)

pov ; dan

category ; sad

word count ; 415

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"why am i not good enough?"

early saturday morning, the birds were chirping happily. that seemed to be the only thing that was happy, though. i had just woken up to the sound of strangled sobs coming from your room, and god, every sob i heard wrack your body was like a bullet through my chest. i didn't know what to do, for i had never heard you cry like this. what seemed like hours later, which in reality may have been only minutes later, a silence fell in your room, and i could barely make what you muttered but it sounded a lot like, "why am i not good enough?" 

i could hear the springs in your mattress moving under you, and i could tell you were rocking back and forth. this sound was eerie, only making me shiver despite the warmth of the spring and the several blankets thrown over me. what am i supposed to do? i thought at the time. my best friend was breaking down in the room next to mine and yet, i had no power to move. clearly, the things you had said were way too quiet for you to have meant for me to hear it.

i could finally move, and i stood up from my bed. maybe you heard my mattress like i heard yours because your cries almost instantaneously stopped. i took a deep breath and padded my way over to your room. you had your arms wrapped around yourself, your knees pulled up into your chest. your face was even paler than usual, and maybe you thought i didn't know why, but of course i did. you had done your best to wipe away your tears with some success, but i could still see the white of your eyes were tinged red. "good morning," you rasped, a weak smile lacing your face. i said nothing, only frowning back. you frowned in return. "what's wrong?"

again, i said nothing, only sat down on the bed next to you. i wrapped my arms around the bundle you had pulled yourself into. your eyes went wide for a moment, but then you closed them, another sob leaving your lips. "i heard you," i whispered. "and my god phil, you're more than good enough."

"yo- you heard that?" you sniffled. i nodded, wiping away a stray tear from your chin. we sat there for a while, the two of us. i knew i didn't need to say anything, and that was alright with you.

☾

request a prompt and ship on the chapter in this book titled "things you said writing meme !! please look i want this to succeed"