My Best Friend's Brother// H.S & S.G

31: Miserable

A/N: HEYYY! HOW ARE YOU ALL? HOPEFULLY YOU'LL ENJOY THIS CHAPTER! I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT...DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT AND VOTE! xxx

Harry

A month after Selena's tour ended she left, she moved back to New York. I thought of calling her after her concert but I just couldn't bring myself to it.

Right now I'm heading to Zayn and Gigi's. They're having a party, I wasn't agreeing to go at first but after much persuasion from Zayn I decided to go, maybe one night I can get my mind off Selena.

I actually haven't properly spoken to any of my friends in months, just drunken conversations with one of the boys here and there. Probably just talking about Selena, I don't even remember anything.

I reach their house and knock on the door, soon Gigi opens the door and gives me a polite smile and hugs me,"Hi Harry, I'm glad you came!"

I follow Gigi to the living room. Once my friends see me they all stand up, I can't help but notice the worried looks on their faces.

"Hey Haz, take a seat" Sophia says.

"You guys okay?" I ask taking a seat next to Niall.

"Harry, we want to help you but you have to be honest with us mate" Louis speaks his voice full of concern.

"What are you talking about?

"Selena" Zayn says.

All the sudden my voice goes dry,"W-w-hat about her?"

"Why are you torturing yourself and Selena? Why did you end everything Harry? What the hell see you thinking?" Gigi asks raising her voice.

"G" Zayn says trying to calm Gigi down.

"No it's alright. She has a right to be mad" I say looking at Zayn then Gigi.

"I know you're not happy, I know you're miserable! I want you two to be happy Harry, I'm sorry for snapping at you but I can't see you both like this. We want to help you Haz, but you have to explain. Why did you do all this? Why did you lie?" Gigi asks.

I take a deep breath. I should be honest with them,"A month after Selena's tour, I started to realize something. Selena deserves better, she doesn't deserve me. As time kept moving I realized how happy she is, doing what she loves, being young and free. I know she loved me but she shouldn't settle for someone like me. I want her to have the best, she deserves the best. I want her to happy. I don't want her to regret anything in the future, that's why I finally decided that I can't let her be with me. I wanted her to move on as fast as possible, so I lied. I wanted her to hate me so I told her that I don't love her and I've been cheating her"

"Harry are you blind or have you out of your mind?" Zayn asks.

"What?"

"Harry you need to out yourself as well as Selena out of this misery. She's still devastated and madly in love with you Harry. Harry all of this shit you have in your mind that you're not good enough for her, this needs to stop. Harry, Selena is hurting, you might think that you did a her a favor letting her go, you think she can so easily move on and find the person of her dreams? She can't Harry, you wanna know why? Cause you're the person of her dreams, she doesn't want to love anyone else. She's still not over you and I don't think she ever will be. Look at yourself, you're miserable, you're anything but happy. You need to stop this nonsense and talk to Selena. Do you have any idea how in love with you she is? She was heartbroken that you didn't come to her concert! She might have moved to New York but she isn't happy one bit and it's your fault Harry! You need to fix this!" Gigi says.

"I was there, at the concert" I whisper.

"What? Then why'd you not meet Selena?" Eleanor asks.

"I was there with my game face, trying to prove to her that I'm actually a dick but then I saw her looking beautiful as ever and I just cracked. After she performed Sad Serenade and cried during it, I just couldn't take it. I just couldn't. I knew I couldn't see her like this, I was a wreck after her performance and if she saw me like this, she would find out that it was all a lie. So I left." By now tears were forming in my eyes thinking about Selena from that night, how she looked so heartbroken and upset performing that song.

Liam gets up and takes a seat next to me,"Do you love her?"

"With all my heart" I say as my voice cracks.

"Then what the hell are you doing Harry?" Liam asks in a calm soothing voice.

"You love the girl, the girl loves you. Go and fucking get her mate. You can't just decide whether you are or you aren't good enough for her. Selena is a big girl, she can make her own decisions. Let Selena decide what she wants instead of making the decision for her. Talk to her Harry, surely she can talk some sense into you. You need to see that you are worth her love. Please Harry, you need to talk to her" Liam says.

"Do you really think she would be willing to see me or talk to me?" I ask.

"It's worth a shot, you need to work things out. Who knows the next time we see you Selena will be with you?" Gigi says with a hopeful smile.

I give them a weak smile. Am I really going to see Selena again? Face to face? What if I realize that I made a huge mistake and that Selena and I are actually soul mates or something. I want nothing else but to be able to call her mine again, laugh with her, hold her but would she really take me back? Do I really deserve her? All I know for sure is that I'm still madly in love with her and I don't think I will ever stop.

I just have to talk to her now, If Selena is hurting then I have to stop that, I can't let her be miserable especially because of me. I don't think I can live with myself like this. I want her to be happy.