Regain I ✔|EDITING|

chapter 14

I barged into my house, while raveling my tie off and threw it on the floor.I went straight to my 'famous wall' which connected the living with the dining. I smashed my right knuckles into it but this time I felt the pain with the heartache I had.

I've been experiencing this feeling abundantly. I don't think I've done so much harm to anyone to deserve this.

I tried to keep it in but slow tears began to crawl down. I bit my lip restraining any whimper of pain to escape. I tried keeping it together on the outside but nothing helped my mental state.

I walked over to my piano and sat. I tried playing a melody but instead I took out my frustrations on the keys. The sounds coming out of it were not of a pianist, sounded more like an eager child playing which ever she wished for next.

My eyes were blurred so I decided to lay there with my head against the piano.

Then, it was silent. A silent type of silence. Not like the silence you would get between a great conversation. Not a library silent.

It was like, a silence that beared to much weight. All I could hear was my clock ticking, a beep from my music system, and the ruffling winds that shook the trees outside… and my heavy breathing.

I was on on the verge of crying out loud.I couldn't bear this pain. It felt like if I could scream it out maybe I would feel better. But no. I couldn't do that,. My voice was just clogged in my throat.

Ama.…

I rubbed my head roughly as I began to stand up.

The door swings open with the person I never wanted to see holding the nob.

I looked at her she looked like a mess, but less of a mess than I am.

"What are you doing here, haven't you caused enough pain in my life. I've lived through a lot but you …you have the audesity to come here, in my house after all you've done.

"Stop it, you think this was easy for me."she said sternly.

"Then why'd you do it?" I asked her firmly. she just stared at me.

"Why'd you do it!"I said more harshly.

"I just realized something, and I didn't come here for you to yell. I just want us to stay tolerated at a professional level."

I laughed slightly to myself. "If you came all this way for that, better leave."

"John, I know you're mad, and thers a lot of things you don't understand,"

"Mad? Mad?" I interrupted. "Hell yeah I'm mad, you can't just leave me without an explanation."

"Oh yeah, and didn't I just do that" she said all rude.

My expression turned hurt as she realized what she said came out more hurtful then she intended.

"John I...

"Leave please, you got what you wanted Miss Moset. I will see you when we need to finish the songs. Which I hope isn't near."

She wanted to say something else but I didn't let her. My handed pointed to the door as she left. I hit the wall behind me and slided to the bottom. I pressed for my audio system to play we never win by Nathaniel Rateliff. My movement from side to side went with the song.

The only way to get over this was to go somewhere far. I smiled at the thought of my initial plan of taking Ama with me to anywhere. Like on TV where the guy would look at the girl with a smirk and be like"come with me baby, you won't regret it tuts."then the girl would squirm and blush saying "I'll go anywhere with you hun, I would die for you." Then the guy would pick the girl bridal style and walk into the sunset to where ever they were going.