The Voices of Ana and Mia (Book 1)

Chapter 3: You're only as strong as...

Diary Entry:

I don't even know what to do right now. For our huge thanksgiving party I ate so freaking much. I made frequent trips to the bathroom where I threw it all up. My uncle Jesse noticed me going to the bathroom and made a joke about it. "Aww Lizzy dear, going to the bathroom again? Is there too much fat there for you bladder to expand. You know the bigger you are, the harder it is to keep it all in". Ha so funny uncle. Shut up. I hate everyone, especially relatives. My Uncle Jesse and Aunt Trinity were there. They're from my mom's side of the family. My dad didn't come. I miss him but at the same time I don't. My uncle from my dad's side, Sydney didn't come, good thing too. I hate him also. After the "joyous" celebration, I didn't eat again until yesterday. I have started the lemonade diet today. Boy, is that hard. I just want to eat so much but all I can do is drink. I'm not sure if I really like this diet but I don't want to be fat. I'm so sick of people calling me fat. I gained all the weight back thanks to stupid Thanksgiving. Ironic name really. Thank you Thanksgiving for making me fat. 149 pounds again. I labor and starve and purge for what? It seems that you are only as strong as...

"Elizabeth! Come here!!!!" I heard my mom yell. Crap! What is she even doing home? I hobbled down the stairs as fast as I could and collided with Brian knocking him into the wall. I managed a quick sorry before rushing into the kitchen to see my mom looking into the fridge. Then she asked me a question that made my heart drop.

"Have you been eating lately?" Why was she asking me this? Did I look fatter? I had to or else my mom wouldn't be asking me unless I looked fatter. Why does she always have to get into my business and condemn me? My mom raised her eyebrow in question. I glared at her and decided that I too was going to play along with this.

"Oh yes mom, when am I ever not eating?" I said with a little laugh. I could practically taste my sarcasm dripping off my tongue and her reaction made me sick. She was angry. She was angry that I even dared to eat.

She has a reason to be angry. You are always eating; always eating up all the food you selfish cow.

I cleared my throat to keep the sobs from coming. I hated crying, especially in front of the witch. She would just laugh at me and say I was a pathetic fat mess.

"Well, all the food seems to be gone and I wanted to know if you were going through another binging session but here's the thing; Michelle's mom called me earlier and said that Michelle told her that you haven't been eating. I wanted to know how the lack of food and you not eating can be possible?"

Wow. Are you really shocked? Of course your mom is going to think you're lying. You're such a fat pig and you have a history of eating all the food in the house. Ha you fatty.

"I don't eat mom!"

"What do you mean you don't eat? Are you telling me you starving yourself now? I don't need that type of bullshit in my house"

"Yeah, I get it mom" I exasperatedly sighed. "I eat you freak out, I don't eat and you freak out. Is there no win with you?"

"You are not allowed to be anorexic you hear me! Besides, you're too fat to have an eating disorder anyway"

"Go to hell"

"Excuse me!"

"I said, GO TO FUCKING HELL!"

"DO NOT EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT HUH?"

"SO HELP ME CHILD YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR GOD-"

Our screaming episode was soon interrupted by a bleeding Brian coming down the stairs. His shirt was smeared with blood and I looked for the source of the blood. His hands were leaking massive amounts of blood. Oh damn Brian!

"Brian!" My mom screeched, "What the hell happened to you!" She ran quickly over to him and started dabbing his hands with a towel.

"I found these, mommy" He dropped two bloody razors into my mom's hand. She dropped them onto the ground and icily asked.

"Where did you get these Brian?"

He whispered it so quietly I almost missed it. The second he said it though, I knew one of my secrets were out. My mom would find another reason to hate me and she would use this secret fully to her advantage if it were true. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. She saw only Brian now, and she had to protect him from the dangerous evil Lizzy.

"I got them from Lizzy's room"

Good job fatty. Face it. You're only as strong as you can pretend to be.