The Voices of Ana and Mia (Book 1)

Chapter 5: Meeting Mia

The beeping wasn't so loud in my head anymore. It felt nice to finally rest. Sometime ago, the forest disappeared and I found myself in a white room. Ugh... I just want to sleep. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I opened my eyes to see her. Mia.

"Hello Elizabeth" She smiled shyly.

"Hi" I skeptically said back. I just went through some scary crap with Ana. I trusted Mia as far as I could throw her and I was weak so I'd be lucky to actually be able to pick her up.

"I know you don't trust me, but I'm not like Ana I promise. At least give me the benefit of the doubt and let me show you how."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not willing to drop my shield and trust you. Do you really expect me to? Honestly?

"Relax Elizabeth. Just come and see" She took my hand and led me through a door that suddenly surfaced there. As I walked in I realized I was in my kitchen. Mia laughed when she saw the confusion displayed across my face.

"I'm here to teach you" She smirked as she walked towards my refrigerator. She pulled out a carton of eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese, mushrooms, and other odd assortments.

"I'm making you a meal, when was the last time you ate?" When I didn't answer she continued in pulling food out of the cabinets. By the time she had finished our small square table was covered in food. She proceeded to cook it while I walked around the house. I took in the smell of my house and felt my eyes well up with tears. I didn't know if this place was actually my home but I was going to pretend like it was. I looked around the house which was too clean to be normal. This fact caused me to sigh loudly in regret.

"What's wrong?" Mia asked approaching my side and taking my hand.

"Nothing" I whispered, "It's just... well I miss it when my life was actually this happy and in control"

"I can help you feel better, come on" She led me to sit at the table which was oddly clean of all the food that once had covered it. The only thing that was on the table was a plate, fork, and a knife. I sat down in the chair that I normally sat in and waited for Mia to return from the kitchen. She came out carrying a large platter of a variety of foods. She placed it in front of me and gestured for me to eat.

"This is too much" I whined as I pushed the mushroom omelets around my plate.

"Elizabeth, just eat, Ana really screwed with your head. Food isn't the enemy you think. This food will actually nourish all the pain you have."

"What?" I didn't see how food would nourish anything. It was what made me fat, the cause of a lot of my problems.

"Just eat it" Mia's eyes had gotten cold. Shivering at her penetrating gaze, I ate my first mouthful.

"Do you want to know why you're dad left?" I stopped chewing and just stared at her.

"Keep eating!" She snapped. Once she saw that I had resumed she continued in her story.

"He left because he was depressed. No one could live up to his expectations. Not his wife, not his son. Not even his favorite child, his daughter. The only thing she was good at was being a stupid fatty" She looked at me coldly and got up and walked out of the room.

Geesh Mia, I know that I wasn't the greatest daughter but that was a little harsh. The food in front of me was suddenly appealing. Mia was right about one thing, it was nourishing the pain that I felt. Every time I felt the food slip down my throat, I felt a release. Before I knew it I was onto my seventh piece of bacon. Chewing slowly, trying to savor the taste. I had been so long since I had eaten something this good.

"If you really want the pain to go away you're going to have to eat faster than that" I jumped at her voice and looked at her. She had pulled a half gallon of chocolate ice cream out of the fridge and was eating it with a spoon.

"Huh?"

"Lizzy, you have a huge hole there where you're dad left, stuff it with the food. It can fill you, as you can obviously see; it's nourishing your hurt"

As much as I hated to admit it, eating felt good. It was totally against everything that Ana had ever told me. She just didn't like the fact that food was so good. I ate and ate and ate and then some. I couldn't even taste the food I was stuffing into my mouth. I didn't matter anymore all I wanted was satisfaction from the food. After about an hour or so I stopped eating simply because I ran out of food. Then the realization of what I had done hit me.

"What the hell Mia! I am going to get so fat! You're supposed to be helping me lose weight!" I screamed at her. Mia's face was calm and completely unmoved by my yelling. I hated her so much for that.

"I can help you" She said almost robotically.

"How? By getting me more fat?! I really don't want to hear what you have to say you..."

"Follow me" She grabbed my hand and led me through the halls and into the primary bathroom in my house. I knew what was coming and I stopped dead in my tracks. Mia pulled me and scowled when I didn't move.

"You are fat now! You have to get rid of it!" She yelled while she dragged me into the bathroom. She threw me down on my knees in front of the toilet and grabbed my hair.

"Puke" She demanded. When I refused she pulled my hair hard.

"You are such a little fatty. You want to keep that food in you? Do you know how much you consumed? Puke."

I felt disgusting. I knew that I had eaten a lot, but purging wasn't something I wanted to do; wanted to do. That's funny. All I wanted was to be skinny and I had totally ruined that by eating. I knew what Mia was talking about now. If I threw it up then I could be rid of all the food that I ate. I sighed and stuck my finger down my throat. After puking multiple times, I coughed and got up.

"Did you feel it?" Mia asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Feel what?" I replied while rinsing out my mouth.

"Did you feel all your sadness and pain leave you with the food?"

I realized how calm I was and stuttered with shock.

"H...h...how?

Mia smiled and grabbed my hand again leading me out of the bathroom.

"You ate to fill, you puked to relieve. That's how it works. You can do this anytime you want. It works the same each time you do it. This is where Ana is wrong. You can eat! Anything you want, you just need to make sure it doesn't stay in you. You need to make sure you aren't fat. Food is always going to be you're worst enemy, no matter if you consume it or restrict it or not eat it at all. Food is your worst enemy"

"I don't want to live like this" I wiped the tears that had started to run down my face.

"I know you don't, but what choice do you have? Do you think people will accept the fact that you are eating and puking? No. They will think that you are disgusting. If you are going to do this you have to keep a secret. No one wants a purging pig"

"BUT I WANT HELP!" I screamed at her.

"For what?" She asked with a smirk, "You aren't skinny enough to be anorexic, you aren't sick enough to be bulimic. Honey, you're just starting"

"Starting what?"

"Hell"