The Voices of Ana and Mia (Book 1)

Chapter 16: It's all my fault

Weight: 109. Calorie intake: 335

Dear diary,

I'm really sad right now. Sad for many reasons. The witch told me I'm leaving to live with my father. It's my entire fault too. I'm so sorry Brian. I am so sorry. It's all my fault. What happened was that I wanted to go to Kim's house because she wasn't grounded anymore but Brian didn't want me to leave him alone at home. So I took him with me to Kim's house. Kim's parents weren't home so we slipped through her window. Her room was filled with the familiar smell of weed and smoke was billowing all around. Brian started coughing at the amount of smoke in the room but I was used to it. It didn't affect me like it had before. At the sound of the coughing fit Kim lifted her head and looked at us. She didn't say a word just inhaled another puff. I took Brian's hand and we both sat on the bed next to her. She handed me a joint and I took my lighter out of my pocket and lit it. Brian's eyes widened in wonder as he saw me smoke.
"They're sending me away. To a clinic"
I felt my eyes widen and I took another deep puff.
"To an eating disorder clinic?"
She nodded her head and stood up.
"It's so stupid! Complete bull-"
"Don't swear in front of Brian"
She glared at me and then at Brian.
"Don't tell me what to do fatty"
Her cold eyes bore into mine. I was used to this though. When she got angry she was incredibly cruel. She calls me fat every time I anger her, I know I'm fat though and I hate that she reminds me.
"She's not fat! Don't call my sister names!" I grabbed Brian's hand and squeezed it. It's alright I whispered to him. I could already feel the drugs going to my head. Everything felt loopy but I loved the feeling.
"Anyway, they're sending me to some freak-show of a 'clinic' where they are going to force fed me through a tube. They can't do this! It's inhumane! It's cruel! I have rights!"

"You're a teenager Kimberly. You don't have right" I smiled as I took another smoke.

"Shut up Fattie!"

Her yelling only brought another smile to my face.

"You're going to get so fat! What will you be pushing by the time you get out 120?" Gosh this weed made me so gutsy sometimes. Kim sneered at me before slapping me.

"Go to hell" I only laughed at her. She continued to glare at me, which only caused me to laugh harder.

"Liz, Liz, hey Liz" Brian kept tugging at my arm which only annoyed me.

"Stop!" He looked surprised that I yelled at him. He was being so annoying though so why was he surprised? Oh yeah, this stuff is getting to my head.

"Here, just smoke this and shut up" He looked at me curiously as he rolled the joint around on his fingers. I pulled out my lighter and lit it as he held it out to me. He inhaled the smoke in and started coughing a lot. I laughed as I watched his face get all ready.

"Man up dude! You're going to be smoking this a lot when you get older" He looked at me with a confused look on his face before taking a small little puff. He coughed a little more but looked up at me with pride.

"That's it dude" I smiled at him. I was so proud of him. He made me happy and he was so brave. He could take this weed like a professional.

"You go Brian" I looked over at Kim who had emitted the words. She looked at me and just laughed. Oh we were definitely high.

"I feel funny" Brian whispered as he grabbed my hand.

"Of course you do dude. This stuff takes you to another world" I said as I squeezed his hand.

"Hey you wanna see if he can handle beer?" Kim said still laughing at Brian who was smoking the joint with everything in him.

"Heck why not?!" I giggled as I took the cigarette out of his hand and smoked it for myself.