The Voices of Ana and Mia (Book 1)

Chapter 15: Please don't take my Brian away

It was a cold day and I was sitting at home with nothing to do because Kim was grounded when her parents found her weed stash again. I was sitting on a chair in the kitchen counting the calories in a 1/3 a cup of blueberries. My stomach pain was more intense than usual because I had started the rainbow diet and was actually eating every day. My stomach had turned into a ferocious monster that just wanted to devour everything in sight but I held myself in check. I saw Brian's blond hair peak around the corner that connects the kitchen to the hall. I smiled slightly at his shyness to come. I cleared my throat to acknowledge his presence. He peeked his whole head around the corner, his eyes wide, searching for another presence in the kitchen. Satisfied that he found nothing he hopped over and sat by me.

"Whatcha' doing?" He asked. His big green eyes glued to the carton of blueberries near me.

"Counting calories"

"what are calories?" his nose twitching as he mouthed the unfamiliar word in his mouth.

"Bad stuff that make you fat"

"You're not fat though so why are you counting calories?"

His innocent comment threw daggers into my soul. He's just to innocent and kind to know the difference between skinny and fat and he would never call someone fat even if they were. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his forehead. I grabbed the chair and pulled it closer to me.

"I love you Brian"

"I love you to Lizzy. I wish mommy would change her mind and not send you away"

Away?! What did Brian mean? Was the witch finally making good on her threat?! Ha! I bet she had been planning on this for a long time that'd why she wasn't talking to me. What a...

"Mommy told me not to tell you. She said that you were going to go live with your daddy. I'm confused though, I thought we had the same daddy. Who's my daddy then?"

So she was going to send me to live with my abusive alcoholic father because she truly hated me. What was I supposed to say about Sydney. He was just Uncle to Brian, how was I to tell him that he was his dad without destroying his innocence. Looking into his confused face that was barely holding back tears my heart broke.

"I do have a different daddy than you. You'll have to ask mommy who your daddy is"

Tears started rolling down his cheeks as he climbed off his chair and climbed into my lap. He buried his face into my chair and tightly squeezed my shirt in his hands. I wrapped my arms around him and put my face in his blond hair. His little body shook with sobs and I felt my face getting wet with my own tears.

"I don't want you to go Lizzy"

With that my tears came down in earnest. I realized then how much I really did love my little brother and not just because he loved me. The little boy that I use to complain about stole my heart when I wasn't paying attention. This little boy was my savior. That night I was completely drunk and was going to kill myself, it was Brian who knocked on my door. It was Brian who called my name as I held the knife against my wrist ready to end it all. It was his voice, his quiet, innocent, pain-filled voice that woke me up. Even though I was ticked at him for breaking my concentration he made me sober up a bit. He reminded me that not everything in life was awful and evil. His innocence showed me that there was more to life then my past failures. He gave me a reason to live. When I started to include him in my life he gave me joy. He made me happy when I was in my darkest hours. His soft warm hand squeezing mine as he looked up to me as if I were his biggest superhero. I didn't realize it but he changed me. He showed me what love really meant. And now... Now I was going to lose him. All because my mother has had a grudge against me since I was a child. She was taking what was most precious to me.

"I won't let her split us" I whispered, throat cracking. But I knew I couldn't fulfill this promise. She was going to destroy him and blame it on my bad influence. She was going to destroy his innocence.

"I try to not get mad and break something when I think about it. But when you go I won't be able to help myself. You are my big sister and you helped me. You played with me. You love me. But I'm mad that you're leaving and I know I won't be able to stop breaking things. I need you" I felt his body shake more violently with sobs as I squeezed him even tighter. I stood up with him in my arms and almost gagged at how heavy he was. The more weight I lost the harder it was to carry things. Regardless I carried him to the living room and sat down on the couch. I whispered how much I loved him in his ear as I pet his hair. I how I loved this little boy. His sobbing started to slow down and he ceased shaking.

"Hey Brian remember that time that we were home alone with Kim. Remember how you dumped that water over her head and claimed it was an accident. That was so funny because she actually believed you. You were totally able to blind her with those adorable dimples but really you're just a devious little boy" I poked him in the side and smiled when I earned a giggle.

"hey do you remember that time when I was listening to music in my room and you were hiding in the closet. You opened the door and somehow... I still don't how you sneaked up on me... But oh my goodness. You made me pee my pants"

I continued to tickle him as I recounted stories of his and mine adventures together. By the time I was telling the story of how he stuck a fake spider in my makeup bag the tears were gone and he was howling with laughter.

"You shoulda seen your face! It was like this" With that he opened his green eyes wide and put his hands on his face. He opened his mouth wide and let out a loud high pitched scream.

"You just made me deaf child" I smiled and then kissed his forehead. He giggled again before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I love you Lizzy monster!"

"I love you too Bry!"

He turned around so that his back was leaning against my chest.

"I use to hate you. You were always so mean to mommy and I didn't understand why. But that day when you told me that you were going to make the bullies stop using Ana and Mia I didn't think you were so mean. I thought maybe you weren't that bad if you were going to help me"

"I use to think you were one big pain in the butt but then I realized how adorable you were" I kissed the back of his head before pulling my arms tighter around his stomach.

"You're my hero" he whispered without looking at me.

"And you're my little sunshine"

He wiggled out of my grasp and walked towards the kitchen, soon returning with my carton of blueberries. He popped a couple in his mouth before giving me one. I took it and stuck it in my mouth, for once not caring about the calories. Brian gave it to me and I would eat anything he gave me because the smile that appeared on his face when I ate it was priceless.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know Bry how much I love you. Please don't take my Brian away"

I almost cried as I sang the last sentence. Please don't take him away!