Elsa
No, that didn't just happen. I refuse to accept it. That did not just happen.
My chest constricted as my knees gave away. Everyone is in complete struck from the performance and I can't say that I blame them. This is completely on me.
"I guess that was the Secret potion?" I chuckle darkly, choking on a sob. Mer runs her hands through her hair in a panic.
"I'm so sorry, Els. I thought it was something childish. I never intended for this to happen." Her look was remorseful and guilt ridden.
I stood up, Mer and Punzie coming to hug me. "It's okay, I was bound to tell him at some point. I just never thought I'd get around to it. "
Hiccup and Flynn sat there with sympathetic looks, "Why didn't you tell him?" Hicc asked.
My gaze dropped to the floor, "Because he makes me so happy. He makes me feel like I truly matter when I don't feel like it. But, I don't feel like I deserve to be loved even though I want to. I'm afraid I'll screw it up."
The guys exchanged a glance before hugging me, "We care about you, not as much as Jack obviously, but we know what you mean. " Hiccup takes my shoulders in his hands and stares at me. "This is where you need to actually think things through and try finding the reason to your fear. " I nod slowly and he gives me a sad smile.
"Elsa, pushing him away doesn't mean you will lose us. But it could cost you. " he kisses my cheek and nods to the girls. "Stay with her. I need to go find Jack."
*~*~*
"Just, just agree to go." I stare at the ceiling as clothes are haphazardly thrown on my bed.
I let out a long breath, "Why? What's the point. He'll probably be there and I don't want to ruin his night."
Punz's face comes into view and I gasp, "Stop it. You'll give yourself wrinkles if you keep worrying."
Mer throws a pillow at her and sighs, "What she means is that yes, you might see him. And yes, his night might drop a few levels on the pleasant side but maybe you'll figure stuff out. " she sits on my bed carefully watching my blank reactions. She reaches for my hand, "You have lived through the epitome of rejection practically. So your childhood has impacted you in ways you can't imagine. Right now? You need to focus on what you're actually feeling and thinking right now. You need to know what to confront and what to face. "
"So get dressed." I chuckle lowly at Punz's blunt request.
Merida was right though. Maybe seeing him could solve things. Maybe I could actually figure out what I feel and the fear behind it.
I sit up and my room is surrounded by the excited shrieks of Rapunzel.
I zone out as she tries figuring out the different dresses to put me with and I slowly drift to earlier.
He looked so hurt; I caused that. I'm the reason why he's in so much pain.
And he loved me. Why is that just registering to me now?
I walk past Rapunzel and look in the corner of my closet for a black and blue dress. It's a bit above the knees and has a sweetheart neckline. The dress is all black except for this blue bow around it and the blue at the ends that slowly fade to black as it reaches above the hem.
