Just A Thing (Seme Male Reader x Grimmjow) {Bleach}

chapter 20

grimmjow pov

"so...i was thinking...and we should totally go to an amusement park," ichigo's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "well...i don't mind. we can go," nick was just to easy going. they had some how talked him into breakfast early this morning. since i couldn't be at home by myself, yeah i had to come with. i mean, i guess it was ok. i was still able to hold his hand so it was ok. they were still chatting about nonsense. i was staring off into space. i was pulled back down to earth when nick let go of my hand. he got up and went to the bathroom. shit...i was once again left alone with his friends. "hey grimmjow," said renji. i looked at him. "how are you doing," i wanted to tell him i felt like shit. but that wouldn't be true. since this morning, ive never felt better.

***flashback***

it was the middle of the night. i tried to move my legs but they wouldn't budge. they hurt. so fucking bad. they were painfully tense. i couldn't move at all. it hurt so bad. i let out a whimper. i tried to grab him but he wasn't there. i reached for him behind me. the bed was cold. i laid on my back. i couldn't move my legs. the pain was unbearable. i was still in a dreamy haze. i was delirious. tears clouded my vision as i struggled to move my legs. i felt hands wrap under my back and legs and lift me up. they were warm and strong. i felt like i was actually light. i knew i wasn't but i felt light as a feather. i couldn't even enjoy the weightlessness due to the unbearable pain. i thought it would never end. that was until i was put into a vat of scolding hot water. i wanted to thrash and get out. i still couldn't move. i felt hopeless. i was captured by cannibals and was being boiled alive. i couldn't fight them. there was only pain. i couldn't breath. i sat there for a while. hands made me submerge to my neck in the boiling water. this is it. i was gonna die. like potatoes. maybe ill be diced and made into stew. if nick had some, would i taste good? probably not. id be terrible. awful. probably the worst thing he has ever eaten. i could feel the tears flow. i sobbed silently. i didn't want them to hear me. i just wanted to die. my legs started to feel better. shit....i must be dying. they felt good. i could finally move them. the water started to feel better. it had cooled to feel like a Jacuzzi. i sighed. i felt so much better. i opened my eyes. i saw nick with such a focused look on his face. he reached between my legs and let out some of the water. it went down to just below my waist before he plugged it back up. he held a washcloth and some soap. he pulled off my depends. he began to wash me. it felt good. he lathered my legs. my chest. my arms. my feet, my hands. he pulled me up so he could wash my back. my neck. i leaned against him. he had a towel over his chest. he didn't want to get wet. i moaned a little when he ran the cloth between my cheeks. he washed me thoroughly. very thoroughly. i couldn't have washed myself better even if i was fully capable. he washed my groin. yeah i was hard again. it was easy for him to do that for me. he laid me back down. the water flowed over me and took the suds away. he washed my face. he rinsed the rag and dunk it to rinsed my face. he even washed my hair. he washed me from head to toe. he let out the water. it was brown. i was filthy. he took a small shower head and rinsed me thoroughly. i had never felt so clean. he pulled me up and took the towel he had and dried me off. i noticed he was in different undies. he must have already showered. i was still delirious. still dazed. he just carried me back to the bed. he put another depends on me. he tucked me in. he climbed in and grabbed my waist. pulled me close. he fell right to sleep again. it was like nothing ever happened. i fell asleep.

***end flash back***

i still wanted to tell him i didn't feel good. but that would be like telling him nick that i didn't like it when he washed me. they really weren't lying when they said his hands were amazing. "..mjow, Grimmjow!" i snapped back to reality. i looked at renji. "are you still with us?" i nodded. he suddenly got up. he walked away with ikkaku. their hands were intertwined. "so...how long has it been?" i looked at ichigo. i didn't know what he was talking about. nick just got back. i grabbed his hand. "what's going on?" he didn't know anything. he never knew what happens when im left with his friends. "i just wanted to know when the last time you guys...you know...sealed the deal," he made sex motions with his fingers. i held his hand tighter. he still hasn't touched me. not in that way. its been so long. "that...is between me and grimmjow," he said simply. i had to hide my face. i was crying. "well....it must have been a long time. just look at grimmjow," said that bastard Byakuya. he seen me. my face felt hot. i felt nick write 'its ok' on my knuckle. he was lying. i knew better. i knew he didn't because he couldn't, not because he didn't want to. "lets just... about the amusement park. which one?" he changed the subject. they seemed to get the message. they knew better than to push it. "the one just outside the city. its got some nice coasters and the food is pretty good," said ichigo. nick nodded. i was still holding his hand tightly. my knuckles were white. i wanted to leave. i couldn't pull nick like i wanted to. nick seemed to notice. "well...we will see you guys later...i gotta...do something else," he got up. he helped me walk back to the car. i heard sighs. i heard some whispers.