Getting Over You

Me, Myself And I

*Ariana's pov*
I realized something weird this week. without boys in my life I feel more free, and my life seems to be so much less complicated. I have more time to focus on my career and my family. speaking of family; a few days ago (July 22nd) was the anniversary of my grandfathers death... two lonely years without him. I miss him so much everyday but my fans and my family keep his spirit alive so much. I also think my music keeps him alive too. because I hold both of them in my heart so dearly that they go hand in hand.

words cannot express the amount of love I have for my fans. they always keep my attitude in a happy place and they understand me more than anybody else. I love reading all the letters and tweets etc from my fans it makes me so Happy and I laugh so hard at some of the things they say. I mean without them I am nothing so I'm so grateful for my honeybabies. and I wish I could interact with them more. I feel like I'm never giving them enough of my attention. but I'm only one person and I stretch my love out pretty far. I just hate to think that someone feels un noticed my me. I need to interact with them way more. started now I need to make more time for my babes. that's a promise.

tonight me and Lexi (my best friend) are going to a club to celebrate my new perfume, Sweet Like Candy. I haven't been out since before the accident so I'm a little nervous about what might happen, but that's what the medication is for. I wanna invite more of my friends but everything is edgy between me and my dancers because me and Ricky broke up, they are all friends but I had to fire him. I thought Ricky was going to be my one true love. most of the songs on dangerous woman are about him. like forever boy. I really thought we would be forever. but I guess now it's just forever girl. speaking of girls, maybe I should get back to dating, this time with a chick. I've been wanted to try that out since I discovered I was bisexual. I've never dated a girl before but I've kissed many and I really liked it. but me dating so quickly after the breakup will point judgment towards me and their is enough drama in the music industry right now.

what, with Taylor swift and Kanye. Taylor and Calvin, Taylor and Selena, taylor and Kim, Taylor and Demi, taylor and Katy, Taylor and Tom. Jesus Christ all the drama is surrounding Taylor right now (which doesn't surprise me 🐍🐍🐍)

getting back to my point. maybe tonight I can try flirting with girls instead of guys. I'm not interested in jumping into a relationship just yet but I'm open to experimenting. life is wild and change is fucking fantastic. I can't wait to discover myself even more and. explore this beautiful world. I'm 23 fucking years old, it's time to be an adult.

I sound crazy...

I'm sorry but my mind is racing. I wanna change everything. I need something new. Yes, I know I just got a new haircut but I think I need MORE! new tattoo? new piercing? new dog? maybe new furniture? I wanna go on tour again. I just wanna do everything!

dammit Ariana, focus.

focus on the one task at hand. I need to pick an outfit for tonight. a nice sexy something that will attract the attention of every girl in that club.

I run to my closet and look through everything. clearly I'm not prepared for this as it took me a long time to find something. but, eventually I found something in the back of my closet.  a while crop top, tight black mini skirt with chunky black heels. I put my hair up in my classic high pony and did my makeup perfectly. I added some diamond earrings and sprayed on my new sweet like candy perfume. I was ready to go when Lexi picked me up.

we drove to the club and instantly I got recognized. sometimes I forget that I'm famous and how hard it can be to go out and try to be Normal. I knew this wasn't gonna work but I had a plan. I asked Lexi to drive me back to my house quickly so I could grab my Chanel glasses. they cover my eyes and make me hard to recognize. I also grabbed a black leather jacket, something I don't usually wear. I'm hoping this will make it harder for people to spot me. but sunglasses indoors might make it hard for me to see considering I'm already pretty blind but fuck it. whatever works. I just wanna have a fun time with my best girl friends and party. we drive back to the club and no one recognized me. (not yet at least) we ordered drinks and sit in a booth. after downing a bunch of vodka shots and a few margaritas I was ready to dance. being drunk makes me hella flirty so I ended up with girls grinding all over me (which I didn't mind) they played come get her, one of my favourite songs. I danced on top of tables and got like 17 girls numbers. also, spoiler alert! I kissed a girl!! I got her number too and I think I might see a future for us (but I'm drunk so who knows lol).

by the end of the night I was too drunk to stand so Lexi and Victoria carried me home. they watered me down and put me to bed. I love my friends tonight was amazing and I can't wait to text all these girls tomorrow. I really wanna date a girl.

I think I like the new me. I am way more fun :)