Getting Over You

I Can't Love You

*Ariana's POV*
It's the start of a new year and new things. My career has been taking off. With the dangerous woman tour, my makeup and purfume brand, my clothing lines and everything else i've been doing. It's been a busy few months and i feel like i haven't found a lot of time for myself. So busy with work, writing songs, touring and trying to balance my secret relationship with Mac Miller and hiding it from Sean. Me and Mac have been together for quite some time now and it feels every day i fall more out of love with sean. I mean, I love sean with all my heart and he's gonna be my soul mate forever but sometimes i feel like we're better as friends. He's knows me unlike anyone else and we have some deep history but sometimes i wonder what my life would've been if we had just stayed friends in the first place. We haven't had sex in so long and it's at the point where we don't even notice, we don't even miss it. Well, at least i don't since i've been getting it from mac everyday, everyday, everyday.

It's been hard to read sean lately. since we've both been so busy with our careers it's hard to find the time to see each other. I'm at a conflicting point in my life, i feel trapped by sean and i can feel myself falling in love with Mac but also i still wonder about my love for females and maybe i'm destined to be with a woman since men have only brought me heartbreak over the years. I've been in love so many times, made so many mistakes and wrote many many songs about it. But i'm curious about my life, but it's hard to explore yourself when you're in the public eye and everyone is making rumours and assumptions about you, ya know? I think i just need a little time to myself. The Dangerous woman tour is almost over and after that i plan to take a break from the spotlight.

This past year of touring has been the best of my life and i'm so proud of the album i put out but i'm feeling overwhelmed, so is my heart. I love sean, and i miss him. But i'm scared to tell him i've been seeing another guy. I'm so scared of sean and his temper. You've seen what he's done to me before and i just want a simpler life. I feel like so much had happened this year and i feel bad for not updating you as much as usual, but life has been fast and i'm sorry for neglecting you babies. But i always love you. Promise you won't tell seanie baby that i've been unfaithful, it would break his heart, which would break mine. Right now i just wanna focus on me and getting my work done before i focus on my love life.

*Seans POV*
This past year has been a fucking mess. My career has gone downhill, i haven't released anything since 2015 and i've been blowing all my cash on drinks. I think i've got a real problem again. Me and ariana have been on the rocks for awhile and it's got me so depressed. I love ariana with every bone in my body and it's breaking me that i can feel her pulling away. I've had suspicions for awhile that she's been cheating on me and it just been causing me so rage. I wish we were together. Why are we torturing ourselves. Fuck, I need to write but i've just been so braindead from all the alcohol and stress. I feel like shit i've been treating ariana so poorly. I gotta win her back somehow.

*arianas pov*
Mac makes me feel like the happiest girl on the planet. He makes me smile and keeps me laughing. Everyone basically knows we're together, and i'm worried about what sean's gonna do. But I know mac will protect me. I miss sean, but i don't think we can be together right now, we're both just in such different places. but I must have a type, Mac has some addiction problems as well, but i think i can help him. When we dated years ago i got him on the straight and narrow. I wish i could of done the same for sean, i miss him sometimes. In the very beginning we had a really good thing going. I wish we hadn't fucked it all up.

*macs pov*
I hate that me and ariana have to be so secretive about our relationship. I can understand her fears about sean but from the experiences i've had with him he doesn't seem like a bad guy. We've gotten into fights in the past but that just shows how protective he is of ariana. I'm really happy to be with ari, but i think we all know she's still holding on to feelings for sean. I want her to choose me, but i'll understand it if she wants to be with sean. I just want her to be happy.