Side by side

1

"I need a job, a job that can get me away from here." I say to my Uncle Sam as I know that he has some great connections. "You know I'm good at my job."

"I know Jenny but I just doubt that you're ready and what about Tyler? How do you think he'll handle you guys moving away?" Sam asks.

"I gotta do it now before he gets older. He's only 5 and I need to move before he starts in school." I say.

"He just lost his dad, do you think he can cope a moving?"

"I need to get away from here Sam! This place has Kyle written all over it!" I get angry now. My husband died 6 months ago, he was a police officer and some big drug dealer they had built a case up against shot him when they arrested him. I'm deeply depressed but I need to get my mind off it to be a better mom to Tyler, I need something to do and I need to get away from here, far away.

"Alright, I'll talk to Jimmy Lovine to hear if he got some work for you in New York." Sam surrenders.

"Thank you." I say.

"But you need to talk to somebody about Kyle." Sam pushes it too far now.

"No I don't. It's not gonna change the fact that he's dead." I say.

"No but.."

"Enough Sam." I say giving him a warning look and Sam just looks down. We now sit in very awkward silence because I'm too angry and upset to say anything and I don't think Sam dares to say anything.

"Mommy?" Tyler now calls through the living room.

"In the kitchen sweetie." I announce and Tyler comes into the kitchen. My little sweet boy who's so big now, he's my everything and he reminds so much of Kyle; handsome, charming and had a great heart.

"May I play on the PlayStation?" He asks.

"Of course honey." I say and I'm about to get up but then Sam speaks.

"Let me help you buddy." Sam says as he gets up which makes me sit down in my chair again. I'm really not that good with PlayStation and stuff like that, it was always Kyle who help Tyler with that so I'm glad that Sam helps out. I look at my phone where Kyle and Tyler are on my background, I remember that day clearly; we were having such fun day at the beach. God.. I miss him! I don't understand it, I don't understand why the world would take him away from us or why the world would let a hero like him die. He wasn't just a hero at work but he was me and Tyler's hero as well. I don't understand why that man would pull the tricker on Kyle? What did he get out of it? He was going to prison anyways. That man should have thought about the people who loved Kyle! I'm so angry at the world, I've never been more angry at the world as I've been after Kyle died. I can't make any sense out of all this and that's what makes me even more angry. I look at the world from a whole other perspective now, I don't think the world is fair, no the world is evil and I'm terrified for my son to grow up in such a cruel world.
My Uncle Sam has been a really good help in all this though and Tyler really loves him, he always has. I've always been very close to Sam and that's probably because him and my mom always has been so close. My mom has always been a really big help and she knows what I'm going through because she lost my dad a little over 5 years ago to cancer. It was hard for both me and my mom because I've always been daddy's girl, it was specially hard because I was pregnant with Tyler, so my dad never got to meet his first grandchild.
Sam now walks back into the kitchen and he takes a seat in front of me again.