Trust me || Liam Payne

Chapter 31

*TRIGGER WARNING! CONTAINS SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER IF IT COULD TRIGGER ANYTHING FOR YOU*

Leah POV

I don't want to feel like this, i have no reason too, i have the most amazing fiancé, i have a perfect son, we have a gorgeous house and we get by with living quite well, and yet i still feel like this, and i cant stop it.

i turn to Liam "i'm fine, i don't want to go out, can you look after him while i have a shower" he just nods at me and i walk out of the room

i need a shower, i feel like i haven't had a nice and long one in such a long time, i walk into the bathroom and close the door noticing that there was my old box in the cabinet over the sink... i cant do this, i have a son, i cant do this to myself

but before i know it, my urges are taking over me, i lock the door and grab the small blue box that contain the razors that i used to use

i glide the sharp piece of metal across my thigh and instantly breath a sigh of relief, cutting over old scars and opening them all back up, i always used to think that with out them i wouldn't know who i was, i guess its true.

The scars on my legs and hips and the fake smile on my lips, the false laugh that i have had to adopt, i know i should but lately i don't care about the things i used to love, i do love Liam and i love my son, i swear i was doing okay, i swear i was doing much better, i made so much progress from where i used to be, i was even happy for a time

i don't know what happened, but something went wrong and now it feels like even breathing is a chore, i don't know when it happened, but i started to loose my way again, missing pieces of myself, and i don't know how to find them.

i glide the razor over my legs multiple more times before i start getting sleepy and pass out.

*Leah in a flash back after passing out*

Liam starts walking over to me with a sad look and holds my wrist looking at all the old scars

"it always took me by surprise when i saw the cuts on your wrist, wether they where fresh or scars

you always looked so happy

It took me by surprise when i was the cuts on your thighs because you are so loved by so many people

it took me by surprise when i saw the cuts on your hips because you always looked so confident, and it made me realise how a simple smile can hide the deepest of darknesses"

Liam POV

i grab my phone still holding Leah sobbing, and call 999 (the emergency number for London)

999: hello how can i help you

Liam: please come to *address* my fiancé slashed her thighs and she's passed out please hurry! i cant loose her

999: i have an ambulance on the way, can you grab a material and put pressure on the wounds to try and control the bleeding, the ambulance is around the corner

Liam: please tell them the key is hiding in the potted plant and the code for the gate is 1853! hurry

I cant believe this is happening! she was doing so well

"hello sir can you please move out the way" a man in a paramedics uniform asks me from the door, i walk out of the bathroom and into mine and Leah's room still crying, i get into the ensuite wash her blood of my hands and arms and grab Spencer

"sir are you riding with us... oh, you have a child"

i look at him still crying, Spence is asleep cradled into my chest

"ill drive behind you, i have to bring him with me"

i look behind the man talking to me and see 2 other men carrying Leah in a stretcher

"sir it would be best if you can drop your son off at a friends or some family, your fiancé is really going to need you to get through this, i have to go, here is the card that your going to need to have emergency access to Miss. Styles, good luck"

The man walks down my stairs and into the ambulance, i hear the sirens scream, thats the love of my life, i need to get to the hospital as fast as i can.

I run downstairs grab my car keys and strap Spencer into his car seat, Harry's house is the closest to ours, i don't even have time to call him to tell him we are going to be there, i just need to get to his house and i can explain then.

I enter the code to open Harry's gate and walk strait into his house holding a still asleep Spencer in my arms

"HARRY" i call out making Spence stir in my arms, at that moment Harry runs down his stairs and automatically see my tear stained face and knows something happened

"i need you too look after Spencer please! Leah is in hospital and i don't know if she is going to make it, i have to go please I'm begging you"

"she is my sister Liam i have to be there" he says yelling at me, making Spencer start crying "shhhhh its okay" i tell him bouncing him on my waist

"please! i will keep you updated i swear"

Harry just grabs Spence from me, i automatically turn and run out the door, Leah I'm coming. 

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i promised you guys this chapter would be longer than the last xx

i hope you all enjoyed it <3