Trust me || Liam Payne

Chapter 38

"hi" I don't even turn to look at him I keep all of my focus on Spencer, thats where it will be for the rest of my life, just me and my baby boy

"your here, I didn't know you where going to be here" he speaks dumfounded

"yeah thats the point, I come when your not supposed to be here, sorry that I'm here"

"what no don't apologise its good too see you, I've missed you" I scoff at him, he has missed me, then why didn't he call why didn't he try to talk to me, he is ridiculous

"look Liam, this is a big world, and one day I might find somebody who might actually treat me well, don't you dare say you missed me, you didn't even try to contact me, I left so many messages on your phone, too see you, too see our son, and not once did I get a reply so don't try and pretend, I see through it"

Harry is standing behind Liam smirking at the fact that I stood up for myself, I never used to, I always backed down when it came too confrontation

"please Leah can we go upstairs to talk in private" I guess I owe it too Spencer to at least be civil with his father

I look at Harry to ask if he is okay with watching Spence while I am talking to Liam, he just nods at me, I kiss Harry's cheek, walking past Liam without saying a word upstairs into the bedroom that contains so many good memories, the bedroom where everything was always okay.

"okay you have me alone speak" I say bluntly, I'm not letting him mess me around

"I know your mad at me trust me I get it, I'm mad at me too, its just after everything I was so god dam scared that I was going to loose you, that I just pushed you away, I was so scared of getting hurt, you know whats crazy? someone coming into your life making it feel whole.

I finally felt so fucking happy, I promised you the world, I promised you my world, those good morning goosebumps I get when I wake up and see you in the morning. The way you smiled at me for the most simple things, I adore everything about you Leah, everything seemed so perfect and it scared me

And then it was gone, and I was just left there by myself, I made you think like you meant nothing to me, but it couldn't be more wrong, I love you more than anything Leah and trust me I know I messed up, bigger than I ever have before, I love you, I love our son and I will do anything to get my family back together"

I look at him having no idea what to say, he knows I still love him, nothing could change that but he gave up so easily, I trusted him

"I don't even know what to say Li, in sickness and in health, thats what we where going to promise each other, and you gave up, you lost your faith in me so quickly you ruined everything, I get it I fucked up

but I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that I didn't again, I needed to keep my family together, its all I had and then it was gone, I had to move out, away from the man I loved and away from my son"

a tear rolls down Liam's face, he knows how badly he hurt me, seeing him cry kills me, but I have too keep it together I wont let him see me in my weak stage again, I know he cant handle it, he will just push me away once again.

"Leah I wont give up! no matter what, when everything gets rough, I will look after you, I promise you, when you need your space I will be here patiently waiting for you, because we have a lot to learn, and I know that, but I love you more than anything and I cant loose you again, please trust me on this"

Liam takes a step towards me, grabbing my hands sweetly looking into my eyes "please, give me one more chance"

"what are we fighting for Liam, lately it seems like we are just doing it for fun, all I want to do is end this stupid war that we have going on with each other, we never used to fight like this, we used to never have to even use words to communicate, the simple touches we had, that was all based on trust, I'm scared Liam"

"I hate fighting with you, thats why I am trying to work this out baby, I trust you, I just want you back, please let me make it up too you, I need you"

I don't know what to do anymore, we are on the right side of bad karma, what if every time something small happens he leaves, I wouldn't be able to cope with that, but I love him, I haven't been coping without him as it is.

"I thought you loved me Liam and I don't know if I can trust you after you gave up so easily as you did"

He takes a step closer to me, placing his hands on my cheeks, looking into my eyes, I don't know if I have the strength to stop this from happening, I have been dreaming of his soft lips on mine for a month, I have been dreaming for a lot more than just his lips

"Liam, we can't, I'm sorry but not everything is fixed with sex, trust me I wish it was, but it isn't that easy" he looked at me his face pained with sadness

"at least kiss me, let me know we can get through this" I want nothing more than to be back with him, he is my home, I love him more than anything, I'm just scared

He pulls me closer to him and places his mouth directly on mine, I gasp, he kisses me once or twice until I've had a taste, I realise I could never have enough of what Liam has to offer. He is everywhere his hands are under my shirt running up and down my back, he kisses me again harder, deeper with a sense of urgency and need that I've never known before

"Liam, stop" I say panting still smiling at him

"whats wrong baby" I kiss his cheek softly

"Harry is downstairs with our son, I'm not having sex with you when they are downstairs I know I wouldn't be able to control myself if we started" he laughs, his adorable chuckle

"lets go see our son then" he kisses more forehead, that simple gesture that tells me that he loves me.