Since We Were 18 ⭐Nouis⭐

Chapter 13

WARNING: ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE IF IT WILL TRIGGER YOU THEN PLEASE DO NOT READ! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND NO MATTER WHAT, SOMEONE SOMEWHERE WILL MISS YOU.

Connor's POV:

I laid in bed all night and thought about what I was supposed to do to make Niall realize that Louis was cheating. It was hard though because he is never going to believe me over his husband who he's known for half of ever.

I rolled around in bed and ended up crying when I realized the true solution: wait until he finds out on his own. But that could take forever. I stood up and walked over to my closet. I opened it up and pulled out one of the bottles of Vodka I had stashed away. It was just a little one but was enough for me.

I opened it up and took a mouthful and swallowed it. It burnt and stung but I'd rather feel this way than the heartache of not being good enough.

A good son would be there for his dad. A good son would have better grades. A good son would be able to protect himself.
A good son would be helping with his siblings.

I'm not a good son.

I took another drink from it and walked to my dresser that I had my already bloody blade sitting down on. I chuckled when I thought about how much this one object meant to me. I took a sip as I starred at it.

"Who would miss me?" I muttered. "Maybe Louis would come clean if I was no longer here." I wiped my mouth and sat the almost empty bottle down.

"Fucking pain is all I feel. Don't I deserve something a little more than that?" I said aloud to no one.

I reached up and pulled out a photo album. It had pictures from when I first came here. It had Niall and Louis and I in almost every photo. Then it was Niall, Louis, me and Tate. Then us three Tate and Audrea. Then it was Niall, Tate, Audrea, Melia and I. Louis slowly faded out of our lives. The look he gave Niall slowly faded as well. I brought my hands up to my hair as I looked at the picture of us all going to the center to adopt Melia. It was the last photo that Louis was in.

I wrapped my hands in my hair as sobs left my mouth. "Love is a shitty lie." I wrote across a picture with all of us in. I then pulled out the one of us getting Melia and pulled a sharpy out of the pencil cup. I scribbled out Louis's face as more tears fell.

"I miss him so much. We were such a happy family and now look at us." I repeatedly wiped my eyes but tears continued to fall. I grabbed the photo album and threw it to the opposite wall. "Fucking shit father." I turned back to my bottle and took another sip as I looked down at the photos.

I reached up and pulled out my journal I wrote in when I was at the orphanage. I flipped through the pages and looked at a random entry.

'April 7th

I can't believe it! One of the workers came up to me and said that two people were coming to talk to me. She said they had been here a few days ago and chose a few kids to choose between and out of all of them they are coming back to talk to me! Me! Connor Joel no last name might be getting adopted! I hope everything turns out alright... Wish me luck xx'